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| Thu, 01-29-2004 - 8:16pm |
I'm a married guy and i've been friends with a girl for about 8 yrs.
I met her at work and soon after I developed feelings for her. It seemed like we both connected with each other. It seemed that we were emotionally close. There were times when she had problems and she found comfort when I consoled her. She was engaged and eventually got married. I got transfered to another area of the company. We kept in touch with each other mainly by e-mail. Eventually she left the company to get another job. We still kept in touch.
She then mention a few years later that she had a 3 month affair with a married guy. I would never expect this girl to be involved in something like that. She said that her husband was involved with porn and that she stopped having sex with him before this happened. She said she felt alone in her marriage.
She said that the other guy persuaded her into the affair and that she was scared the whole time it was going on. She said that after 3 months, the guys wife called her and threatened her to stay away. The wife called again to tell her husband about what was going on. My friend feels that affair is over. She told her husband everything and he isn't sure if they'll get back together. It was known that this guy was involved in other affairs before. After she told me, I was really affected by it. Since i've talked to her, I've had it on my mind a lot. It really crushes me that she has been involved with another guy. She's really affected by it. She is very depressed. She told me about a week ago. How should I feel about what she was involved in? Who's fault was it? hers? his? What is the best way to help her if she needs my support? I don't understand why I feel so much anxiety over it. Thanks
I met her at work and soon after I developed feelings for her. It seemed like we both connected with each other. It seemed that we were emotionally close. There were times when she had problems and she found comfort when I consoled her. She was engaged and eventually got married. I got transfered to another area of the company. We kept in touch with each other mainly by e-mail. Eventually she left the company to get another job. We still kept in touch.
She then mention a few years later that she had a 3 month affair with a married guy. I would never expect this girl to be involved in something like that. She said that her husband was involved with porn and that she stopped having sex with him before this happened. She said she felt alone in her marriage.
She said that the other guy persuaded her into the affair and that she was scared the whole time it was going on. She said that after 3 months, the guys wife called her and threatened her to stay away. The wife called again to tell her husband about what was going on. My friend feels that affair is over. She told her husband everything and he isn't sure if they'll get back together. It was known that this guy was involved in other affairs before. After she told me, I was really affected by it. Since i've talked to her, I've had it on my mind a lot. It really crushes me that she has been involved with another guy. She's really affected by it. She is very depressed. She told me about a week ago. How should I feel about what she was involved in? Who's fault was it? hers? his? What is the best way to help her if she needs my support? I don't understand why I feel so much anxiety over it. Thanks

::How should I feel about what she was involved in? Who's fault was it? hers? his? What is the best way to help her if she needs my support? I don't understand why I feel so much anxiety over it.
I think you wanted to be with her from before and because she's been with someone else, you are feeling the way you feel because you now see her lack of integrity and you aren't sure how to handle it and you feel that just maybe you could be tempted away from your marriage. Everyone is responsible for their own choices, so it's both their faults. How can you support her....hmm, that's a loaded question. How does your wife feel about your relationship with this woman?
Carrie