inlaws

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2004
inlaws
3
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 3:52am
My husband and I married a few years ago and my in-laws didn't really seem interested in the wedding. My mother-in-law even pulled this stunt of not showing up for the wedding shower at the last minute because she says 'i didn't want her there'. That was such a load of crap. I thought we were starting to get along when my husband was offered a much better paying job doing something he had always dreamed of. Well it was across the country and instead of being happy she threw a fit. Everyone was nervous about the move but my mother in law told my husband that if he took the job and didn't divorce me she never wanted to talk to him again. It has been a year and Ihave tried to reach out numerous times but she is just nasty everytime I try and my husband doesn't really want to try if she is going to continue to be nasty. I think she is being ridiculous and would like everyone to get along but I don't see how unless she accepts us and the life we live. What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: lawchick70
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 7:52am

Honestly, you can't DO anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: lawchick70
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 1:44pm
'would like everyone to get along'

Aaaah, there is your problem. It sounds like she is being childish. You can either continue to torment yourself by going out of your way to make her happy or you can realize that this woman has issues with letting go of her son and seeing him as an adult and let go yoruself. Be gracious and mature and call her once a week (or whatever you see fit) but don't play into her games.

Are you and your husband united about how to deal or not deal with her? Can you laugh it off and be thankful that you don't live so close to her? Maybe you want to write a nice letter saying that you are happy and hope she accepts your decisions. Be the nice guy and then limit contact if she keeps throwing fits and asking your Dh to divorce you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: lawchick70
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 1:54pm
This sounds like something that the character Doris Roberts plays on Everybody Loves Raymond - the overbearing mother in law who won't go away and let her son live his life. I don't think she wants everyone to get along. I also don't think her son's best interest is what she's concerned with. For some reason, she doesn't like you. There isn't anything you can do. In fact, I'd stop trying to reconcile with her. She's just going to be mean and nasty anyway. All you can do is live your life with your husband regardless of what his mother says and does. She may be one of those mothers who think no one is good enough for their children. If that job makes him happy then it should make her happy. She's being terribly difficult and by the threat she made to your husband, it seems as though she's very selfish and childish. Don't do anything. Live your life and ignore her. You're married to her son, not her. As long as things are good between you two, then I don't think you have anything to worry about.