Insight needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Insight needed
25
Sat, 07-26-2008 - 4:09pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sat, 07-26-2008 - 4:16pm

'we each have things to work on and we both need to grow stronger as individuals. '


This is cliche. Is that why you wrote it or do you two have plans for how, proactively, you will do this? How will you take the steps to work on your things that will ultimately give you reasons to get back together and give you the tools to have a healthy relatiosnhip.


Looking cute together and feelings love are no reason to date if you are always breaking up. You know this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 12:54am

Welcome to the board stuckandlost,


Recovering from betrayal and rebuilding trust usually takes counseling and some work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 10:13am

Yes we are both working on ourselves. She has been dealing with Bulimia and I have been helping her through that. I made a huge mistake last year as well as at times I got caught up in her problems and didn't step back to see her true self. When we were both ourselves it was absolutly amazing! I don;t want to lose her and letting her go right now is really hard. The reason being is because when she was having a bad day I was the one that always hung on for the both of us and helped her through the rough times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 10:21am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 1:16pm
How exactly are you working on yourself? I am still not clear on that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 1:33pm

She has a lot of work to do with her Bulimia - stuff you can't help her with or save her from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 2:53pm

Thank you, yes Bulimia has the same emotional toll, thats why we have been off and on. The moment she starts feeling as if she is getting over it she gets scared and as she says the other part doesn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 4:41pm

Something to think about - it's great to feel needed and wanted, like you are helping someone else, but if it creates a dependency, it's not benficial to either person. And for the one that does all the 'rescuing' or caregiving it can even get old after a bunch of years no matter how much you love the other person.


I just took a seminar 'Healing the Wounded Heart' to become a Destination Coach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 4:49pm

Carrie,


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 5:54pm

::During the past month called her lots and it got to a point she told me that I'm just making her mad. I dont want her leaving being mad at me...so do I just go and get the rest of my stuff from her parents place after she leaves or go and get iot this week and keep it simple like "Hey how are you? Have a great time in Mexico, take care...bye"


Yeah, pretty much.

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