Intimacy problem
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| Mon, 02-09-2004 - 4:11pm |
Now, I'm sure it seems like - yeah, no kidding you have intimacy problems. Well, through all of this I have tried to be there for him, sexually, but really only if I'm in control. I really don't want to kiss him more than just a simple little kiss and I can't bear to have him touch ME in an intimate way. The sex is very brief and, without being too graphic, it really just involves the basics.
We got into a big argument about this yesterday. He of course is very unhappy that this is the way things are. I understand that. He tells me he knows it's his fault we're at this point but I don't really think he understands how closely tied trust is to being intimate. I've tried to explain it to him, believe me.
The thing is, he keeps asking, "what if I change everything and you never get that feeling back?". I didn't know how to answer him. I didn't feel I could give him a time frame and felt that it took 3 years for me to finally give up all trust in him, how could he win it back in 2 weeks????? I told him that, and that just upset him more. Should I try to give him a time frame? I honestly don't know if these feelings will come back. How long do I keep things going? Really, divorce is the final option for me and I want to know that I've given it my all, but I can't stay with someone who I can't trust. Does counseling help get this back? Or at some point is it just too late, too much has happened?
Anyone out there with experience? Your help is appreciated.
L.
| Mon, 02-09-2004 - 4:42pm |
