Intimacy Problems! Please Help!
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| Sun, 02-22-2004 - 11:41pm |
This is my first time posting on this board, so hello to you all!I am posting because I really need advice on an issue which has been troubling me. I have been going out with my boyfriend for over a year and I love him so much, but in the last little while I almost dread beening sexualy intimate with him. And if we are, Im not enjoying it like I used to. This has never been a problem before, and up until now I have always really loved and enjoyed to be intimate with him. Im not sure if it is a hormonal problem on my part, or if there is something deeper causing this problem, Im even beginning to think up ways to get out of having sex with him! I've talked to him about it, but I think he just ended up feeling really bad about himself thinking I was bored of him and it's all his fault. Im really confused and I dont understand how I could love someone so much, but no longer desire to make love to them. Any advice would be appericated. Thanks so much.

The loss of sexual desire in a relationship often indicates an emotional problem that you are going through. There are many factors which affect sexual desire, some of which are unconscious - issues that you are dealing with, that you may have no awareness of. Or, it is also possible that you are having feelings about the relationship that you have not expressed, fears, resentments, and suppression causes sexual desire to leave. I suggest you see a professional person about this and not discuss it with your boyfriend as he will take it personally, where it is not his fault. When you work on your own feelings and become aware of what is going on inside, or in the relationship, then you can share with him about it - not putting the blame on him. Or or yourself either. There is no blame anywhere here - only a need for more understanding.
All good wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
hi and hugs! I am glad that you are seeking help for this - intimacy is such an important part of a relationship . I think that the libido can be affected by several factors:
hormonal changes can affect it, even something simple like PMS or something more difficult. this is something you need to explore with your ob/gyn.
certain meds: certain medications can affect your desires, especially anti depression and BP meds. again, something you need to check with your dr.
emotions: is there something bothering you about the relationship? are you possibly angry/frustrated/hurt by your BF, maybe something subconcious? is your BF attractive to you? is he overweight?
as dr shoshana said - this is something that YOU need to explore.