Invite the Ex (or not) to wedding?
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Invite the Ex (or not) to wedding?
| Wed, 01-21-2004 - 12:27pm |
I am getting married this year. My fiance and I have been discussing our guest list. I would prefer if his ex was not there. My fiance and his ex are still on friendly terms and I have no problem with that, I am polite and friendly when we meet but don't really wish to be friends with her as such as I don't really like her to be honest. (I have met other exes of his that I do like.) I would prefer on the big day to think in terms of just him and me and I don't really want to share it with her. The problem is that his ex is now dating a friend of a friend of his so most likely we will bump into them once or twice a year in certain circles. My fiance says he is not really pushed on inviting them, but does not want anyone to be offended and for it to carry over into our social circles and that it would be making a bit of a statement to not invite her. We have discussed it a good deal, I am afraid of inviting her and then regreting it on the day, and on the other hand, I don't want my fiance to have to bear the brunt of it either. Am I making too much of this? Advice much appreciated.

No one wants to be reminded of a marriage that didn't work out as they are taking vows. And I would be willing to bet that the ex would be uncomfortable watching her ex husband take vows to another woman - even if all issues have been dealt with and the couple is on friendly terms, it might bring up inappropriate emotions. As for the other guests, they might be uncomfortable with the ex there as well.
As for not wanting to offend anyone - no one will be offended if the ex is not invited. Trust me. It is perfectly acceptible not to invite the ex to your wedding in every social circle I can think of. In fact, by inviting her you might ruffle some feathers. People tend to look at that kind of thing as the new couple trying to rub their happiness in the face of the ex. Not good.
The only time I can think of that inviting the ex would be appropriate is if they have children together and the ex needs to accompany those kids. Even in that case, usually there are grandparents, aunts, or uncles who can accompany the kids.
Wonder if you could find that article and have your guy give it to the good friend that is now dating the ex....lol
Sorry, I hope it works out. I think he would be willing to take the brunt end in the social circle to ensure that the wedding is the way you need it to be.
Carrie