is it just a phase?
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| Thu, 05-31-2007 - 8:35pm |
I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 years, we have lived together for the last three years. We first started dating when we were in college and have talked about getting married but waited because I was focused on going back to school for my master’s degree. I finally finished school and my boyfriend got a new job and has also had to go back to school. I am starting to really want to get engaged and I understand that he was patient with me when I was focused on my career and education so I want to do the same for him.
The one thing that has me concerned is that we haven’t had sex in a little over a month. We have talked about it and he says that he is just exhausted and stressed about work and school. In addition we are on different schedules so we don’t see each other as much as we are used to. I know that after this long a month of this shouldn’t bother me that much and I haven’t found anything to make me suspect that the cause of this change in his behavior is anything other than what he says but at what point should I become concerned?
I love him and everything between us has been great we enjoy spending time together, he is considerate, we have been through some ups and downs over the years but we have always worked through any problems we have had. I am sure that this is just a phase but the longer he isn’t interested in me physically the more I worry about it, I think that my reaction is pretty normal and I am trying not to focus too much on it but I am not sure how much longer I can last before I turn into a jealous snippy brat.
Any advice?

Welcome to the board sailax2004,
I think your reaction to this is normal. It would concern me if my fiance and I hadn't had sex in a month. Have you tried to initate sex?
glitter-graphics.com
Hi sailax,
While stress does effect the libido of a man, I too would be concerned. What steps is he taking to help with the stress? Is he depressed?
Reading material to consider:
Love in the Present Tense: How to have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage, Shechtman
The 10 Second Kiss, Ellen Kreidman