is it me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
is it me?
8
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 3:46pm

My bf and i have been arguing a lot lately.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 4:46pm

Welcome to the board goddess_periwinkle,


Sounds like a little disagree ment turned into something alot bigger. I am wondering if there isn't some

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 4:54pm

It sounds like your communication styles are at odds with each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 5:49pm

Yea i do believe that we have different communication style. I also think we have different view points.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 8:51pm

When you get upset, do you usually walk away without saying why or cut him off? If so, I'm sure you hurt his feelings just as much as he hurt yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 1:54pm

UGh. Those previous posts are almost dreadful to reread.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 2:10pm

It's not that you are wrong IMO. Most of us do only see it from our own point-of-view. It's hard for some people to step-out of their own POV and into the other's POV to really communicate.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 3:21pm

Give him his space. He sounds like a baby, and beyond that, he doesn't seem at all open to true communication or understanding how you feel and what is really going on. You have a right to respond to a negative comment and if he doesn't like it, and has a trantrum about it, that's his problem.


Think about what it is you truly want and deserve in a relationship and see if this is it? Also see if this relationship can be worked on, like two adults, so you have a means of working out differences in a healthy way.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 7:54pm

If he pulls away when you disagree or have opposing viewpoints then he is creating emotional distance.