Is it ok???
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Is it ok???
| Wed, 04-07-2004 - 11:16am |
Hi everyone, just a quick question. Is it ok when my boyfriend goes out to "find some girls to grind all over and make him lose it" well dancing with other women? He is going to Vegas next week with his buddies for like 5 days and this type of behavior will be going on at all the clubs. I do not want to forbid him from dancing but the thought of him having some chics ass all over him on the dance floor kind of makes me queasy!!! Plus what happens if it leads to more, like her asking if he wants to come back to her hotel room and blah blah blah!! I would appreciate any of your views on your b/f's or husbands going out to the clubs and dancing with other women. Is it normal acceptable behavior??

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Every relationship is different and every woman has a different standard she expects her boyfriend/husband/SO to live up to. Ideally, people with identical standards find each other and have no problems, but when that doesn't happen, we have to pick our battles. If it's not cool with you, that's all that matters. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all if it bothers you so much, so should tell him. Chances are he'll say, "no big deal, I understand." If he doesn't, maybe you should rethink your compatibility since your standards are out of kilter.
Ivy
georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com
Many women would feel exactly as you do - they would not find it to be acceptable behavior for a man to go lap dancing and who knows what else for 5 days
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IMO, there's nothing wrong with *dancing* with other women at a club, but what you describe isn't consistent with my idea of just *dancing*!
There would be no touching involved, and if there was a slow dance, it would be the type you have with your dad at your wedding (i.e., lots of space between body parts except for the arms!).
Sheri
It's all about standards and boundaries, and if this is something that makes you extremely uncomfortable, you should be able to communicate with him about it. This would be a good opportunity to discuss boundaries for exclusive couples in general and what both of your expectations are, if you haven't talked about this yet. It's an essential conversation for a long term relationship.
Good luck and keep us in the loop.
Ivy
georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com
Does this mean that he wants to lose it as in have an orgasm or lose it enough to take her to a private room?
Sounds to me like he's going to do whatever it is he wants, depending on his morals, ethics, values, etc. and you are worrying a whole lot for something that hasn't happened yet. Even if you get him to agree to all your restrictions, it doesn't mean he's going to follow them. Personally, I'd tell him 'if he wants to live like he's single, he may as well be single' and put the focus on you and where you want to be, how you are going to get there and figure out if you want to move home or stay there.
Carrie
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