is it time to dump him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
is it time to dump him?
3
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:56am
I've been with my boyfriend for two years now. He sees his parents only 1 or 2 times a year and he just announced to me that he's going up to Canada for the weekend to visit them. He didn't bother asking me if I'd like to come along. I found this pretty offensive, especially since we've been together for some time and most of the time people bring their sig others they've been dating to meet their parents. He's never invited me up there to see them either. I'm starting to wonder if I should just take this as a clue that he doesn't take this relationship very seriously and will probably never. Is there anyway to save this or should I just pull out now? We have a lot of fun together and I want a real strong relationship with him, but he's never really mentioned moving this forward to anything else. Our relationship has been the same for the last two years. He also shows little interest in getting to know my parents too. I'm starting to get bored and antsy.
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 9:54am
A strong relationship must also have strong communication. Have you thought about discussing this with him? Even just saying "I'd love to meet your parents sometime."

Have you ever taken a moment to ask him where he sees himself in five years? Don't ask where he sees you and him in 5 years. Just ask where he sees himself and see if you're included in the plans.

Don't be afraid of scaring him off. After 2 years, if he scares off, then consider yourself lucky that you didn't waste any more time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 7:29pm
I would say Yes, Dump him. Two years and you haven't met his parents, he definetly doesn't want the relationship to go any further. It will be harder on you if you stay longer. Or you can play his games with him, and do the same. Go away for a weekend with some girlfriends or something. Alot of times men are stupid like that, they never understand how you might feel in a certain situation, until it's switched around. Men are usually more self centered than women, their feelings often come first. If I were you if you still can't seem to make up your mind, tell him how you feel, ask him if he wants the relationship to go further and why he didn't invite you? You should know by his first reation if he's what you want, it could go on for many years, he could make many excuses to keep you hanging on, but is that a good healthy relationship?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 8:57pm
I forgot to make this clear, but I have met his family before and had dinner with them. The only thing I've been waiting for is to be included in his trips to visit them. I don't know why he hasn't asked me to come with him to their house, his childhood home, yet. I've been asked by friends if I've been there yet and i'm starting to feel weird when I tell them no.