Is it too late? What can I do???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Is it too late? What can I do???????
6
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 11:47pm

My wife asked me

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 8:11am

I want I want I want...
Well we know what you want.
She knows what you want.
Your counselor knows what you want.
So, what you want is not really the problem.

The problem is that it's not what SHE wants.
I'm trying not to be insensitive here but I don't know about the idea of trying to win her back.

Also, taking care of someone just means being there when they need you.

What she wants is intangible and it's not something you can offer her.
To her credit, she is trying by going to counseling with you. But you can't stay forever in a relationship where only one person really wants to be there.

I don't know what to say if marriage counseling didn't help. She has to make her own decisions and it seems like she's trying to make the best one, but I guess the best thing for you to do right now is distance yourself a little and not coerce her into doing what you want.

I'm really sorry. I hope she gets back whatever she is missing from herself and comes back to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 11:38am

Welcome to the board superdiz,


Unfortunately, it takes two people working towards the same goal together to keep a marriage together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 1:59pm

Taking care of her and looking needy are two entirely different things.


Can you elaborate about the things that she calls "needy?"


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 12:10pm

Thanks for the support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 5:20pm

Superdiz, cherchez l'homme (French for look for the guy).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 6:10pm
I dont understand why you are investing financially and/or emotionally in a woman who does not reciprocate your feelings.