Is it too late?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2009
Is it too late?
15
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 8:07am

My husband & I have been together for over 12 years and married for almost 6 years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: jodes30
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 9:56am

Welcome to the board jodes30,


I can understand you being frustrated and wanting to give up. However, I do see the fact that he made the appt with the counselor as a very positive one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: jodes30
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 3:22pm

Welcome to the board jodes30,


::Is that bad for me to say?


No, I can understand why you feel that way. My guess is that you feel hurt/angry/resentful that he's not put you and the marriage as a priority.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: jodes30
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 12:02pm

I realize you may not be happy with the way things are in your marriage, but I know one thing for sure - they will only get worse by you going out after work with the guys drinking and getting drunk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: jodes30
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 12:36pm
I agree with sd. What you are doing is disrespectful to your husband as well as your marriage. He probably didn't want to come get you cause he was mad that you were out with a bunch of guys from work getting drunk. Most husbands would not tolerate this behavior from their wives. This is NO WAY to work on your marriage. You are very vulnerable to having an affair right now because you H is not paying any attention to you. I suspect you are really enjoying the attention you are getting from these other men. You need to find out what caused such a disconnect between you and your H and work on fixing that if you really want to stay together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
In reply to: jodes30
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 9:40pm

I have been pushing counseling for many months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
In reply to: jodes30
Sat, 03-07-2009 - 8:49am
Cheaters, or those who intend to become cheaters, do not push for marriage counseling. That was a bit out of line, don't you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
In reply to: jodes30
Sat, 03-07-2009 - 2:30pm
No, I don't think it was out of line at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to: jodes30
Sun, 03-08-2009 - 4:25am

>>Cheaters, or those who intend to become cheaters, do not push for marriage counseling<<

When I was with my first husband, I was desperately lonely and also cheating. I was also begging for him to go to marriage counselling with me so that we could sort out our marriage. He refused counselling. I ended up doing solo counselling and left the marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
In reply to: jodes30
Sun, 03-08-2009 - 10:01am
Interesting to know... I guess I thought "cheating" and "wanting a marriage to work" were opposites? I do stand corrected!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
In reply to: jodes30
Sun, 03-08-2009 - 5:09pm

I think that the two of you are probably engaging in destructive behaviors that are cycling out of control.

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