is it too much to ask for....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
is it too much to ask for....
2
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 10:17pm
hello,
i dunno if its me or me just wanting way too much out of a guy but here's my issue. my ex n i broke up after being together for 4 years. i broke it off with him cuz i couldnt deal with his stuff anymore. n i felt like we were falling apart cuz of our work n life. we live together n than i move out n move back home. all i want from him, is to show that he loves me n that i can depend on him. when we live together, i did everything for us, pay our bills n so on. when i move back home n was in the process moving home, he completely fell apart n started drinking n coming home drunk n driving drunk home. he has a huge issue with finance, that boy cant freaking save any money watsoever. n now he has a job that pays twice the amount i do. somehow he cant even pay me back, yet he spend his money on stupid stuff n its makes me so mad. like i want to kill him just for his stupidity. im a very independent gurl n i no i can support myself without a guy. i dont need him to depend on, i just want to know that if anything would to happen that he'll b there. he wants to try again, n i say not until he get his stuff together. i no i got my issue, but i need him to do his side of the job. n the other thing is that he's always so busy doing his stuff that he doesnt have time for me. yet he can like hang out with his friends or talk to all other people, but me. it makes me so mad. i no we need our space, but its not fair to me cuz everytime he does that, i feel like im nothing to him. being with someone for 4 years n feeling like ur nothing to them really pisses me off. n he'll do stuff for his friends first before doing anything for me when we were together. but am i asking too much for him to meet me half way n stop throwing me aside before his friends n make time for me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 12:31pm

Hi,


It doesn't sound like he's ready for a long term relationship.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 3:01pm

No, you're not asking too much. A healthy relationship is one in which both parties feel valued, cared for and considered. It sounds as though this guy has a lot of growing up to do. He doesn't seem to be ready for a mature, responsible relationship. My question to you, is why are you still hanging onto this? What stops you from going out into the world and finding someone who can give you what you want and need? What's the point of going around and around in a trap?


Best wishes,