Is it wrong?
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Is it wrong?
| Mon, 03-15-2004 - 2:16pm |
Hi everyone, I just moved to California to be qith my boyfriend of a little over a year. It has been about 2 years since I have lived with a man but that is not the issue. My current dilemma is that he is taking a Vegas trip with a bunch of his buddies next month, most of whom are totally sex crazed. I totally trust him not to be physical with other women but he has this infatuation with strip clubs. I know they will be heading to them and I really dont have a problem with him going just to watch. I DO have a problem with private dances however, ESPECIALLY in Vegas "Sin City"!! How do I bring this up without it causing a big thing, but the thought of another women NAKED writhing and rubbing all over him just makes me nauseous! I know it is natural for men to enjoy watching women naked and what have you, I seem to find women attractive as well, but I feel that this type of behavior is just pushing it and goes beyond the innocent "just looking". Am I wrong to feel this way? How do I bring up this issue and get him to "behave"? I love him dearly and we have a wonderful relationship other than the fact that he loves women a little too much at times. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

What do you mean by this?
'I totally trust him not to be physical with other women'
Then you have nothing to worry about. If you want to know how he feels about lap dances then ask him. You don't have to be accusatory about it. Maybe you two will be on the same page.
He does this in front of you? Honestly, if I were you I would be a lot more concerned about this. It is degrading to women and disrespectful of you. Doesn't that bother you?
Having the conversation is a must....but it sounds like your values and his do not match. Think about that, because he isn't going to change even if you have issue with it. As I said in my reply to the other post, if I went out and got a lap dance from a male or female, my boyfriend would have issue with it, and the same is true if he went out, I would feel the same way and we agree it's not 'a given' in our relationship. The key is we agree.
My best to you.
Carrie