Is it wrong to install spyware on you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Is it wrong to install spyware on you...
2
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 7:35pm

Is it wrong to install spyware on your computer to spy on significant others?



  • Yes
  • No


You will be able to change your vote.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 8:01pm
There's that saying "trust but verify".

I think if there is intent to spy, then there is lack of trust to begin with...there are already problems in the relationship, before you even confirm your suspicions or not.

If you DO add spyware, you're being deceptive yourself. If you DON'T and your partner is being deceptive, how do you verify your suspicions?

If you're contemplating it, then there are major problems to begin with, so I'd be first trying to determine what got us to the point of deception in the first place and work out if the relationship and trust is salvagable or not. Doubt breeds insecurity.

And what if you DO put the spyware on their computer and they're doing nothing wrong? How do you feel then with your own feelings of deceiving your partner? What's making you distrust and do you keep digging in other areas of their life to try to prove your doubts? Where does it end? What if they find out you were spying on them?

It's a very fine, dangerous line to cross...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 10:37am
it is definitely wrong. my bf is a computer scientist and can pretty much put whatever he wants on my computer without me knowing, and has told me that he can. i believe him b/c he's done it to/for other people when they asked.

now i don't have anything to hide, i don't do anything online that i don't tell him about, but it makes me very nervous. i have confronted him about it and he said that he wouldn't spy on me but i don't know if i neccessarily believe him.

ANYTHING that you transmit over the internet, unless the site has https (s for secure) is in clear text and can be seen by ANYONE using nmap or a type of packet sniffing software. so emails, instant messages, posts, everything can be seen in plain english. there is also a program that can be installed on your comp. where EVERYTHING YOU TYPE ANYWHERE, on or offline, is trapped and saved, so passwords, journals, id's, can all be seen. and it is undetectable.

everyone has a right to their privacy, and spying like that is a breach of trust and of privacy, and is wrong, no 2 ways about it. maybe i wanted to look at porn one night when he was away and i was lonely, or maybe i have email/chat friends that i like to talk to, be them of opposite or same sex, just b/c i'm lonely, its none of his business.

before you install anything, think about how you would feel. i'm paranoid to do anything for fear that i may accidentally say something wrong and he'll see it and get pissed. confront your S.O. first, and if you do, you better have a damn good reason for it.