It's over and it hurts

Avatar for chilaili
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
It's over and it hurts
5
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 10:46pm
I pretty much knew it was coming and I was even prepared to say it myself, but now that it's happened it still hurts and I'm crying. I liked him so much and really wanted it to work but the timing was so wrong. I just want everything to be back the way it was. I hate living in this state. Nothing's gone right since I moved here and it's just been one horrible experience after another. But I've nowhere else to go. I told him when we met that I'd got used to the idea that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life and then he came and I was so hopeful and now I'm back there again. Why am I so alone?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 10:57pm
*hugs*

Break-ups are so tough; especially when you've invested so much hope into it. Just take it one day at a time and it does get better. I've experienced a similar feeling with each failed relationship. I would be utterly disappointed that I was, once again, all alone. It's a scary feeling. Then something occured to me. The reason I was always so alone is because I never learned to love myself and keep my own company. I spent over a year dating nobody. Not even looking. I taught myself to be with myself and to enjoy it. :) It took some discipline and a lot of courage but it worked. And when I reached that point of satisfaction in my life, I met the love of my life and now I see why nothing ever worked with those other relationships. Had one of those other 'half-ass' relationships amounted to anything I wouldn't have met the boyfriend I have now.

It's all about patience. Hang in there and learn to love yourself. You'll find 'him' when the time is right but you have to be certain that you are prepared for when you do which is another good reason to take some time for yourself for a while.

Good luck!

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

Avatar for chilaili
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 11:20pm
I've been alone for EIGHT YEARS. How much longer do I have to wait?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 7:49am
Time/age knows no bounds...even when it comes to lonileness. I didn't find the love of my life until I was 30 years old. Meanwhile all my friends were married, getting married, etc and I felt hopeless. I can't tell you how long it's gonna take but I can advise you to not focus on how long it could take. You really need to focus on YOU. Fill your life with things you like to do. What are your passions? Get out there and just start doing them. You'll feel less alone in no time. :)

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

Avatar for chilaili
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 9:27am
I'm 39 and frankly I never want to be in a relationship again. It hurts too much and I can't handle this and the humiliation all over again.

Yes I'm in a bad place and yes I feel sorry for myself and yes I know I will get thro this. I just want to have to.

Avatar for chilaili
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 9:28am
Sorry, that should read I DON'T want to have to.