It's over now

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
It's over now
2
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 11:20am
I broke up with my boyfriend 2 days ago. We've been together for 1yr 1/2. I've realized that he has no dreams or goals in his life whereas I am going to school and I know I am making something for myself. He wants to make something for himself but he just doesn't have that motivation to do so. This is so hard because I love him so much. This has gotta be the hardest breakup for me ever. We had such a nice relationship and he always was there throughout everything that I've been through these past couple months. I just have been having such a hard time dealing with the fact that he doesn't get up and better himself. We both work at the same job, but he's been working there for 6 years. He is unhappy there but is afraid to try something new. He is one of those people that can't step out of there comfort zone. I tried so hard that I made myself miserable. But other than that, he has been the man of my dreams. I just find it so hard to just kick him out of my life, but yet so hard to even hear his voice on the phone again. It was one of those relationships where we told each other everything, best friends. The bond was incredible, it's like he's been with me my whole life. Some of the things he would do or say would shock me because we were so alike. We would know what each other was thinking before we even said it. I love him but do you think this is something that can be worked out? I hate being like this..
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 11:36am

You say you love this man and that there are so many wonderful aspects of him and the relationship. Yet he also has a quality you seem not to be able to live with - his fear of moving ahead, or stepping out of his comfort zone. Be aware that everybody has some kind of difficulty in life. This may be his. He may or may not be able to overcome it - or perhaps he doesn't even want to. That's up to him to decide, not you.


Sometimes we can love someone very much, but because of

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 7:04pm
Hmm... I don't blame you for leaving him... but I totally agree with what the other girl said about there is always two sides of everything (check out message post #2). Maybe he needs your help on this kind of problem. A couple should help out each other. My fiance is very ambitious... and oh my god... he drives me nuts with new business ideas every other day! And most of those ideas are not suitable for him... Anyway.. Good luck.