It's too much

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2007
It's too much
4
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 9:34am

This is my first time here but I've read the advice given by other posters and it seems intelligent and heartfelt so I thought maybe I might explain my issue and see what others think. The problem is my husband. We've been married for almost two years and have a 3-year-old son. To prevent this from turning into a novel, I'll just briefly describe our past. We met in 2003 and dated for 5 months before I found out I was pregnant. We didn't want to rush into marriage just because of it so we moved into together and continued to date. The entire time I was pregnant he would go out on the weekends and come home really late. Girls would call his cell phone, he'd come home with phone numbers in his pocket. I normally wouldn't have put up with this type of behavior but I was pregnant and scared to death of being alone. He also told me he would have nothing to do with the baby if I left. Anyway, our son was born in 2004 and the phone calls and going out stopped. He was and is such a wonderful father that I thought perhaps he just freaked out because we hadn't been together very long and it was such a life-changing event. So I gave him that and we went on down the road.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 10:37am

Hi there,


This does sound like you are in a

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 11:30am

He sounds like a bitter, awful person.

I understand that you were afraid of being without him... But you need to get over that fear now and leave. This guy is just a jerk. I value my friends and wouldn't put up with someone who refused to get along with them because he wasn't happy with their weight.

The truth is, and I think deep down you know it: you can't reason with someone who doesn't intend to be reasoned with. He is isolating you from people you care about, whether intentionally or not, which makes it easier to control you. Don't lose your friends. They will be there to support you and turning away from them will REALLY mean that you are alone with him.

Take the steps you need to get away from a toxic relationship and make your life better. It happens one step at a time, but the decision to leave is one that you really have to commit yourself to.

Edit: You've posted to a board where the goal is to help people make their relationships better. However, since you've clearly described a relationship beyond saving, a couple of good boards for support might be Toxic Relationships and Breaking Up Is Hard To Do. Good luck.




Edited 11/9/2007 11:31 am ET by eggbertshootsfire
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2007
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 11:53am
Thank you both so much for your responses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 12:17pm

Welcome to the board osu12007,


I agree with the previous posters that this relationship is beyond saving. He isn't willing to work on any of the problems, therefore, they can never be solved. You are at a point where you have to do what is best for you and your son. You don't want your