I've Got a Doozie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
I've Got a Doozie
6
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 5:23pm
I had an affair this summer (which I admitted to immediately - and I know that doesn't make it right).
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 5:37pm
You should put your son first before your boyfriend. Who cares about your boyfriend?? He's not your family. Moving six months away from your child is not a good parenting move. He needs you, and these years will not last forever. You should be in his life, take some responsibility for what you've done and be a good mother - having a boyfriend is not nearly as important no matter how "in love" you feel. You moved in with a guy six hours away from your kid a few months after leaving your husband... I hope you understand that what you did looks pretty awful to an outsider (me) and why I encourage you to move back for your kid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 6:00pm

I agree with the previous post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 6:01pm
I am back.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 6:03pm
Children come first.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 6:40pm

If you don't want to be with your husband (if you left him, isn't he an ex? Or was it just a separation?) then you shouldn't work on a marriage because a marriage isn't what you would have together.

It's possible for two loving parents to be separate but still be good parents to their child, and it's better for him to grow up with two parents in two houses than two parents fighting in one house.

You can't work on a relationship with your husband while you have a boyfriend. I suggest cutting that guy off first (this situation is not really fair to him) and then sorting your life out here before worrying about romance. If you're still wondering whether or not you should work things out with your husband then you definitely should not be off confusing yourself with other people.

It will all become clear with a little time.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 8:44pm

This is quite a dilemma. You have to work it out in a way that all do well. Can you spend some time with your son and some with your boyfriend? How far away does the boyfriend live? Can he travel a bit also, and spend some time with you. Clearly, you are not living with your husband now...do you plan to move in back there again? I suggest you seek professional counseling to sort out all the many complicated issues involved here. Your decisions and choices will affect many people and have many ramifications in many lives. It's a good idea to get the help you need in sorting these through and taking actions which will be healthy and fair for all concerned.


All good wishes,