Jealous
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Jealous
| Fri, 02-27-2004 - 2:02pm |
I don't know what to do! My girlfriend is part of an amateur dance performance troupe. Part of this requires costume changes between numbers backstage, where there isn't a dressing room. I have accepted the fact that this is just a part of performance, but it still really bothers me knowing that 1/2 dozen men have seen her in her underwear. In addition, one of the women-only numbers requires a backless costume in which they must remove their bras. Since the guys aren't in the number, they're just hanging out backstage while the girls are briefly standing around in nothing more than a thong. I spend time with these guys socially, and I know their intentions aren't dishonorable towards her, but I still have a serious problem knowing they've seen her almost completely nude. This has greatly affected the intimacy in our relationship to the point that every time she changes clothes at home or takes a shower, I don't even want to be in the same room. She says I'm being "stupid" about this, and it's not a big deal. Again, I respect her, and am very proud of her involvement on the dance team. However, I don't think it's unnatural for me to be jealous of this. Thoughts??

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Drop the jealously, embrace what you have with her, and make the most of it.
Jennifer
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi
Tiffany
Jennifer
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi
For some reason there is an acceptance of this kind of thing happening in the world of dance/film/movies, etc. maybe that is why I couldn't be in that field, I wouldn't want people watching me undress, no more than I would want them to undress in front of me.
Not sure how you resolve this. Sorry.
Carrie
I can tell you that I would have serious problems dating a stripper and it would have nothing to do with them being in some erotic environment. It is simply that she would have such little modesty that she could get naked in front of a bunch of other people like that. There would be a serious conflict of personalities and notions of right and wrong. I just could not consider myself compatible with them.
Tiffany
i think i find this terribly degrading to the women in the group, that they have to undress in that way. I totally understand your feelings - its not that anyone is cheating, its not that these guys are anything BUT honorable, and yet, i find it simply disrespectful to the women to have to sit around or stand around half naked.
now, this is making you feel uncomfortable, you told her how you feel, maybe "jealous" is not the right term to be using. maybe SHE is also feeling uncomfortable, but doesn't want to rock the boat? sorry, I don't know what to tell you, but if this is affecting your relationship then you might want to consider couple's counseling so that you both can tell the other how you are feeling in a safe environment, and maybe come to an agreeable solution.
I'm still at a loss as to what to do. I love her, and do not want to end the relationship over this matter. However, I find our intimacy greatly impacted by this. Since the original posting, I have spent time socially with some of the guys on her dance team. Mind you, this isn't professional, no one gets paid for this. One in particular has taken a liking to my girlfriend which borders on inappropriate, and knowing he's seen her almost nude is just one more piece this puzzle doesn't need. He has made comments on how attractive she is and how her choice of lingerie is great.
Honestly, how am I supposed to deal with that? There is no professional courtesy here! He's looking and he likes what he sees; my reaction is not unwarranted. I guess I am resigned to my original choices: stay and deal with it, or leave.
Thanks again, all. Just needed to vent.
Tiffany
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