jealousy confusion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2008
jealousy confusion
4
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:42pm

Hello

I've been dating this girl for about 18 months. She's a great girl, nice, beautiful...and I really like her a lot. However, here is my issue. 6 months ago i really felt that i loved her. However, with this love came a great amount of jealousy on my part. I'd get angry over her talking to another guy. Now I don't seem to get that jealous at all over little stuff. I know that may seem to you as an improvement, but it has me worried that maybe I don't care enough about her if i don't get jealous or angry. It's caused much pain on my part because I sincerely care about this girl and the very last thing I want to do is to hurt her in anyway. So, does the lack of jealousy now mean something or does jealousy usually fade overtime in a good relationship? thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 12:54am

Tenniskiddo, lack of jealousy means you've grown as a person.


You see, jealousy does not have it's basis in love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 11:22am

Welcome to the board tenniskiddo101,


It is a good thing that you are no longer jealous. Jealousy has no place in a true healthy, loving relationship.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 1:13pm

Jealousy comes when we feel insecure about ourselves and afraid of losing someone we care for. It is a poison, and as you say, destroys your peace of mind. It only comes with love with an individual feels as though they cannot hold onto the person. I don't know why it has faded in your case. Perhaps you feel more secure in the relationship? Perhaps you are realizing that she cares for you as well? The jealousy fading is not a sign of love fading, it is a sign of increased health on your part.


All good wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Sat, 03-29-2008 - 6:33pm

Are you jealous or territorial?