Jealousy...the devil.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2004
Jealousy...the devil.
2
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 9:46pm
My boyfriend is still very close with one of his ex's. The relationship ended three years ago - they dated for five years. He had a serious relationship since her, but they're still best friends. They even live together with one other person as well. After we got together, I became friends with her and found that we have a lot in common and she's fun to hang out with. They still have this weird thing going on though where they love to share private jokes, and tell me about when they dated. They always talk about how unattracted to eachother they are, and I thought it was funny at first. Now it's just pissing me off. He always used to say, "If I ever had a girlfriend that didn't get along with her, that would be the end..." So I feel like I can't confront him about my hurt feelings. He's out to dinner with her and her mother as we speak! Last night she called him crying and he ditched me faster than you can say quiet riot! We talk subtly about marriage, etc. I adore him and I know he cares about me deeply. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what to say. I have to say something because the whole situation is making me bitchy every time I'm around them and I don't want to be like that. My friends tell me I'm being too nice and they would freak out if that ever happened to them. I like to pride myself in being a cool girlfriend, but along with that, I have a hard time standing up for myself. Any advice?


Edited 3/18/2004 10:49 pm ET ET by anamorphose
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 12:43am
This is not good. Why is your BF still hanging-out with his Ex? Has he no consideration for your feelings? And, he ditches you as soon as she says boo-hoo? That is not right. Tell him it's "one way or the other". You are only going to end up getting yourself hurt. Personally, I know that I could not be "chummy" with my BF's Ex....no way! What are you getting out of that? Is your BF keeping her on the side, just in case??

Be carefull....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 3:48pm
It's one thing to remain friends and be friends, it's quite a different thing to:

1) Live together

2) share private jokes (it's rude, it's like whispering in my opinion)

3) "If I ever had a girlfriend that didn't get along with her, that would be the end..."

4) Ditch you for her (needs, drama, feelings, etc)

5) Dinner with her family without you

How can he build a life-long relationship with anyone if this woman takes up so much of his time? No one can fill a place that is already filled.


Carrie