Just a break, or over for good?
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Just a break, or over for good?
| Mon, 03-01-2004 - 1:07pm |
If I could just get ya'll's opinions on this it would be great. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 22. We've been together around 5 months. When we first met, it was one of those things where you both just go, "wow!" We fell in love quickly and immediately began spending every waking moment together except when we were working or in class. We even began talking about how we both felt like this would last forever. He told his mom i was a, "keeper." He said he could see himself settling down with me someday and having a couple of kids and the whole nine yards! He was the first to say "I love you" as well. Things went on perfectly like this for about 2 months, with us meeting each other's families, and me attending Thanksgiving with his entire extended family. Then, one night, he sat me down and started out by saying that he didn't want to break up, but that he thought we should "take a break." I figured this was probably a good idea, cause like I said, we were spending all our time together and not hanging out with our respective friends. That was right around Christmas, so we didn't see each other that much over the holidays while we were both home visiting our families, but we did continue to talk every day. Then, when we came back from Christmas break, and started school again (I attend a University, he goes to a junior college in the same town), our schedules were really hectic, but we managed to see each other about twice a week. Then, I did something really stupid and ended up driving over to his house and showing up unannounced two nights in a row, waking him up in the process (it wasn't late, he had gone to bed early). The next day, he decided he was going home to visit his family for the weekend a day early, instead of going out to dinner with me for his birthday. This led to a huge discussion, where he said that he didn't know what he wanted, and that he wasn't sure if he wanted a relationship right now. He said if he was gonna be in a relationship, he wanted to be with me, but he just didn't know if he wanted to be with anyone right now. I should add that he has been really stressed out lately with work and school. So he was supposed to go home for the weekend and think about what he wanted. Well, he called me when he got back, but neither one of us brought that subject up. That was about 3 1/2 weeks ago, and he's still calling me every couple days ( i've only called him twice). However, I have not seen him in these past 3 weeks, since our last big discussion. I still have a bunch of stuff at his house, since I was practically living with him those first couple of months. I keep telling myself that he just needs his space right now to work on himself and that if I give him time, then everything will be fine. Just the fact that he's still calling me kinda shows that. And we never officially ended things, or even discussed what happened. So my question(s) are: Should I bring it up again? Should I attempt to see him? And if he truly does just need space, how much time should I give him? When do I say, "Okay, I have to move on, I can't wait any longer?" I love him very much, and I know he cares about me, I just think we jumped into this way to fast, and suffered a burnout, but the question is, how do we fix that? Can it be fixed? Any advice at all would be helpful, especially from someone who's been here before. Thanks guys! :)

First...you sound like a real 'charmer!' But then...PIANOGUY has always had a fondness for ladies from the south. His first true girlfriend was from Arkansas, believe it or not!
Since You and your b/f have only been together for 5 months...it sounds like the two of you went through TOO MUCH TOO SOON. I understand how each of you could fall head over heels in love...and then start making a lot of plans, introducing family members, and goodness knows what else?
But you know something???? You're both in school and that's where your priority IS at the moment. Don't bring up the 'ivory covered cottage' or the 2-4 rugrats that might be part of your life someday. Because all of these plans will only stress the two of you out!
So why don't you arrange a casual dinner at a mutually agreeable time...and let your man know that YOU LOVE HIM...YOU'D LIKE TO BE A PART OF HIS LIFE...BUT RUSHING EVERYTHING EARLIER WAS A MAJOR MISTAKE...AND THAT YOU'D LIKE TO PUT ANY PLANS 'ON HOLD' UNTIL YOU BOTH HAVE FINISHED SCHOOL.
Tell him this and I'll bet he'll lighten up a lot. Then...you can decide if you want to make yourself "exclusive" only to him...or perhaps date a few others while you're getting your college education?
Best of luck and good wishes...
Pianoguy