Just married and having problems
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| Sat, 02-21-2004 - 7:13pm |
I'm new on this website and I need some advice. I got married a few months ago and we're having communication problems. We have been living with each other for over 2 years and just recently we have been arguing about little things. I'm getting tired of being the responsible one. I work full time, take care of the bills, clean up the house, pick up after him. The only thing he does is work and watch TV. He plays his X-box and Computer games. We recently bought our house. Furnished it. We're living very comfortable. He has a great salary.
All he wants to do is spend money. If it wasn't for me he would not have this house but if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have it either. He spends money like water. Don't get me wrong I love the stuff that he buys but I really don't want to go into debt. I was debt free before we got married and now I'm taking over his debt and then some. We have a 32" TV in the living room and now he wants to buy a big screen TV. He wants to buy a new computer so we both have one. We do not need 2 computers. I really don't know what to do. When he asks if it's ok to make a big purchase, I say no not right now, he does it anyway. He doesn't help with the chores around the house but he will assemble anything we buy as soon as we get home.
I really want to fix this before we have major problems. Please help.

Money problems are one of the biggest causes of tension and divorce in couples. It's too bad you didn't negociate this before you married.
You are absolutely right in wanting to be on the same page as your husband. It's not too late. You need to have a serious talk about what both of your expectations are. You need to make sure that you both walk away feeling like you can live with the arrangement. If not, he's sure to fail.
Set a limit on what purchases can be made without consent of the other spouse. ie: purchase over $100 must be discussed and agreed upon.
If there's something that he just has to have, SAVE FOR IT, then buy it!!
Going into debt so early on in your marriage is sure to cause future problems. It's better to set the ground rules now.
The key is really ensuring that both people feel they've walked away with something.
Good luck!
Thanks
This is a very good case for prenups keeping finances separate...
Thanks again