Just need some advice
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Just need some advice
| Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:21pm |
I have a male friend in which we consider each other to be best friends. At one time I felt more for him than just a friend. We talked about it and he didn't return those feelings. Afterwards I think I was just having those feelings because our relationship was never defined. Things have been odd at times, but we still are as affectionate and fliratious as we used to be. Lately, he has been going through a hard time and I am not sure how to help him. He has been divorced for a long time and he can not fall out of love w/ his ex wife. He can't move on. We happen to be going through some difficult times at the same time. But I always seem to be the one to offer support. He shuts me out and lies. When I phone him to offer support he lies to me and tells me that no one is there when I know a women is. This women he has not so good things to say about. Why would he want her around and not me. He is pushing me away and I don't want to lose our friendship, but I am tired of being hurt. I feel like a "fill in" most of the time.I just left it as he can call me when he needs me and I will not call him. I hate to be lied to. He only hurts me even more when he shuts me out. Should I give up on him? He always says how much he loves me and how he enjoys being with me. Throughout our friendship he has "traded" me for other women and we have gotten in some heated arguments. I always say I am over it, but he always knows I will forgive him. Is he taking advantage of me too? Any words of advice are appreciated.

Unfortunatley, It sounds like the value of the freindship id differnet for him than it is for you. You would do anything to support him, love him and be a freind. However, He only takes advantage of this.
My question is this: Are you upset because the freindship is fading and growing apart, or that he has sought comfort an another woman, other than yourself? Be honest with yourself...and him.
Yes, I am upset that we are growing apart and that he seeked comfort from someone else. He has "dogged" this woman and I am his best friend. Who would you want to confide in? Maybe she offers other types of comfort I can't or won't. Did I do the right thing by leaving the ball in his court? I told him that it bothered me he lied about having company over and that I feel as I am a convenient friend, so when he needs me he can call me. That way I don't intefere with what he is dealing with. (I didn't get to tell him this in person). I am just afraid he won't call. Do I "write" him off?
:Why would he want her around and not me.
Because he can get sex from her.
::I feel like a "fill in" most of the time.
You are.
:Throughout our friendship he has "traded" me for other women and we have gotten in some heated arguments.
Why are you surprised that it's happening again?
Carrie