Is this just a sincere apology or does it mean more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Is this just a sincere apology or does it mean more.
11
Sun, 09-04-2011 - 7:39pm

I was in a 4.5 year relationship that ended VERY badly over two months ago.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010

kcchicchi-

Hi. It could definitely mean he is interested in reconnecting. You two were together for 4.5 years--a pretty long time--

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

Do you think it's more wanting to reconnect or just make amends in a peaceful manner since it ended ugly?


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

You know what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006

"wanting to...make amends in a peaceful manner since it ended ugly?"

That is my take on it.

It sounds to me as though the loss of his friend has inspired him to reflect on and make peace with his own life and that his letter to you was a means of not only clearing his conscience but intended to comfort you. Making amends--and forgiveness--is an intregral part of not only in 12 step programs but is also often recommended by religions as atonement in order to begin a "new life". With that in mind, I would perceive his comments about love as referring to agape rather than romantic love.

But that's just my opinion. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
kcchichi wrote:

Do you think it's more wanting to reconnect or just make amends in a peaceful manner since it ended ugly?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

Honestly? His Email is selfish and "all about me". He had a friend who knew someone who died in the attack, and the only significance is that they shared a last name. From this guy's Emails, he loves to make everything about himself. He's name dropping so that people will feel sorry for "his loss". I live right outside of NYC and I know a lot of people who do this in order to get some kind of sympathy by attaching themselves to someone they barely know. It's disgusting and insulting to those who actually did lose friends and family.

You moved on after only two months out of a four and a half year relationship... That's great, keep going forward and stop entertaining him! I don't think his apology is as sincere as you want it to be. If it were, he would be simply apologizing to you, not talking about his losses. He's trying to make you feel sorry for him. He is a loser.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010

I could be wrong but to me it sounds like he just wanted closure. He was probably thinking about it a lot and clearly he cared for you a lot. I think this was his way of saying that he cared and he will always love you. I do not think that it means he wants to be together again. I said the same thing to my ex when we were breaking up but we knew it will never work out. I think it was very mature of him to send you that message and I really like your reply. I would just leave it as that. In case I am wrong and he does want more from you, he will contact you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

Thanks everyone for your input.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I get where you're coming from. It makes sense to take his apology for an apology and to move on from it... If he continues to push you for contact, then you'll know he had ulterior motives. But if he lets you go on your way, then I think it's safe to say his motives were purely apologetic.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003

I take it at face value.

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