Keep it light or go deep?
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Keep it light or go deep?
| Wed, 12-17-2003 - 11:41am |
tomorrow i am meeting my ex? GF for lunch. she broke up with me a few days before thanksgiving -- very suddenly, without warning, after an intense year together when we slept together virtually every night and shared dinner, breakfast, drives to work, vacations -- EVERYTHING. Then, suddenly, she announced she was breaking up saying she needed time and space. we last saw each other about two weeks ago -- she said she loved me and hugged me. she had tears in her eyes as she left. i have honored her request for time and space, as tough as it is. My question is, regarding tomorrow, should i just keep it all light and happy, as if i've sort of moved on? Talk about our holiday plans, work, etc. and nothing deep about us? i really want to find out more, what she's thinking, where she's at, etc. but i also don't want to sound desperate or pushy. i love her so much. a couple of close friends have told me to not bring up anything about us -- just kep it light and on the surface. First of all, i'm not sure I can do that. I want to tell her that I love her and think about her all the time. i want to share where i'm at -- and hear where she's at. it seems wierd to not have that sort of discussion considering the depth of what we shared - that she should understand and expect, and maybe even want a conversation about us and where we're at. any suggestions?

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Please do not use this new woman as a distraction from your pain!!!
Unless you told this new woman *exactly* what is going on in your head with respect to your ex (and I mean in gory detail...the fact that she is on
Re-read your post, please.
Have you told her this? Does she know that you just out of a relationship that you didn't want to leave?
And maybe you don't feel that you are using her but you are so confused and haven't even gone through all the steps involved in recovery that you aren't really prepared to be in a relationship. You at least owe it to this girl to explain what is happening if you aren't going to wait good amount of time before dating.
You know, sitting around and feeling bad is not necessarily a bad thing. You need to process what is happening so you can eventually move on. The best way out is through.
Well, I haven't addressed it because it's a moot point...she's made her decision, so that's that.
Ditto.
My overall opinion is that you need to stop focusing on it.
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
CL Ask A Guy
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