kids and money

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
kids and money
19
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 7:29am

I'll try to make this quick.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 10:29am

You remarried in May, and all of your fights are about kids and money?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 11:48am

It sounds as though it may be best to keep your finances completely separate. Your kids are adults, so parenting shouldn't be a huge role in your relationship, but if his son never really figures out how to grow up then that will be a huge problem. If you can't agree on how to manage money with your children, then the best advice I can give is to agree to disagree, then use your own finances to support your children and stop resenting the other person for what they have or choose to give to their kids.

Your daughter is 24, assumedly in grad school. If she is a responsible adult then she can pay for her own books because she should have a job. I understand that you want to help her, but it sounds as though your desire to help your kids through school also stems from a desire for them to use you as a financial resource instead of their father.

"What my children are learning is that they can count on Dad when they need money, but not Mom"

Your ex can afford it, so let him. Money shouldn't be the crux of your relationships with your children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 1:32pm

Thanks for responding.

I agree with everything you say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 2:05pm

Thanks for responding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 4:16pm

Since your DH refuses to go to counseling, then I think you should go alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 4:19pm

I wonder if your DH's opinion has to do with your DD's behaviors.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 4:22pm

"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 7:18pm

I would LOVE to sit down with a professional and get advice, but dh doesn't believe in counseling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 7:27pm

Unfortunately, my girls probably WERE raised to equate love with money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 7:43pm

I do agree with your DH, that you shouldn't cash in on your retirement in order to supplement your DD's education.

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