This is killing me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
This is killing me
2
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 9:42am
Ok, I have been 'osting here so many times!!! Some of your responses are true though it´s something I don´t want to accept or listen.

My ex bf (broke up like a week ago)and I saw on sat, we had a nice dinner and stuff, but we never discuss what has happened between us.

I know I cant force someone to be with me and neither I want to... But I would have lke us to talk about what happen between us over this years and why are we here.

We was the one who was madly in love with me, I was too, but he was sooo much more... He would always talk about the future and stuff. Until last year when I guess we felt out of love in some way I guess. It was like we have been trhough so many things we couldnt handle well, so that used up the relationship... It´s something I´m having some difficult in accepting it,, but I guess that what happened. We care, and stuff, but the mad love thing is gone. Someone told me you cant be in love 24/7 that there are ups and downs in a relationship, it´s that true?! Could this be just a low period?!Could this love reemerge?! I find it hard to believe that love can come and go so easily... We plan so many things together, we expected to be togetjher forever...I really miss those years when we were crazy about each other, when I was just happy t be with him, it makes me sad to think we were once sooo happy and so right for each other and now, we are apart ...

This things can be fix, can u love madly again?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 11:13am
I honestly think that you won't be able to think clearly about why you broke up and get over him as long as you still see him so often. Why not make a clean break and actually separate?


I have posted many times that you need to work on yourself and all the issues you have without being in this relationship in order to have a healthy relationship in the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 1:03pm

When I was growing up, I used tyo ask my mother how she could stand to be with my dad for so long..


She said "sooner or later, the passion fades and you had better have something to take its place."


Unfortunatley, there will be a time, where you dont always feel in sync.Its up to both of you to make it work.If time keeps passing and you still dont feel that connection anymore, then I would start to look at other underlying factors that could making you feel this way. In general, you are going to have these days, sometimes weeks. The key is to have open communication between both of you so that you feel comfortable telling him these things.


Take up a hobby together, go dancing, take a walk or have a picnic.Make time for each other so it doesnt always feel like a chore to be together and you both will feel more appreciated.