kind of an "odd" situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
kind of an "odd" situation
4
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 2:48pm

Hello everyone, my boyfriend and I have been together 1.5 years and all is well. We have a very strong relationship with few, if any, problems. There is no end in sight, as of right now.

In about a month, I will be leaving town to do an internship. I'm moving about 3 hours away. Last week, I spent two days at this new city for "orientation," leasing a short-term apartment, dinner with other interns, etc. In short: I had an amazing time. So amazing, in fact, that I thought about my bf only a handful of times and wasn't even that interested in talking to him on the phone - very unlike me, since I always miss him.

Here's the thing: on the drive back, I started feeling almost "depressed" - I wasn't looking forward to seeing my boyfriend, or my other friends, etc. etc. I missed the new people I had met, the fun we'd had out on the town, etc. I had used "skill sets" I hadn't used in months - social skills while getting to know dozens of new people and the skills of being 100% independent (no old friends, family) and of remaining calm (I drove there in pouring rain, had no clue where I was at, I got lost several times, etc.) I did SO well on my own, and loved every minute of it.

When I got back home, my boyfriend and I were in the car and I just felt "bizzare" - I don't know how else to describe it. Out of touch. Foreign. Like we weren't together. I saw my friends and felt wierd around them too. I told my boyfriend how I was feeling, and he became really worried ("are you going to break up with me?") Of course I don't want or plan on breaking up with him; I want to be with him forever.

I am SO worried that if two days in a new place with new surroundings is able to basically "yank" me from my day-to-day life, what will an entire summer do? Coming home didn't feel like coming home at all - it actually made me question where I even belong, an issue I've never dealt with in my life. I love home. I love my life. But those two days just gave me the strangest feeling. After a few hours with my boyfriend and friends, all was well again. I felt like me again. My friend thinks maybe I was just in "survival" mode - making new friends and navigating a new city - and when I came home, it took awhile to adjust back to home-sweet-home.

Do you think I should be worried about something similar happening this summer? I am so scared I'll come back and want to end things with the love of my life because I might feel like we're foreign to one another. Does this even make sense, or am I just crazy? Has anyone experienced something similar?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 10:06pm

Hi meddreams and welcome to the board,


I've not been through what you are feeling, but I think you have reason for concern.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 5:02pm

meddreams,


I think you could have a problem this summer if you are so happy that you don't want to talk to your bf (like what happened this time) that it could affect your relationship with him.


Are you feeling for something exciting?


myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 5:32pm

Thank you for both of those replies.

Yes, I definitely DO feel as though some (well, quite a few) of my current friendships are growing "stale." I am ready to move past this town, possibly even out of state. Ctara, you said "are you feeling for something exciting?" I'm not quite sure what you mean, so I will answer it in a couple of ways.... I have no real desire to date anyone other than my current boyfriend. He's my best friend; the reason I initially made this post is because my reaction to leaving town for two days was so unusual that I'm SCARED it meant something that maybe I haven't admitted consciously. We have come up with plans to see each other; so far, we will be able to see each other about every week and a half (paid holidays, certain weekends, etc.) I have never cheated on him and do not want to or plan to.

I don't even know what else to say I guess. I am just praying that it all works out as it should.

Thank you for any more "advice" !

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 10:20am
Sorry that was