lack of trust

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
lack of trust
1
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 6:06pm
My husband of 29 years has always stared at other women when we are together. (I think just recently he has accessed a diary of mine and knows how much this has hurt me, and seems to be making an effort to not do this as much when we are together.) We have had many good times ruined because of his behavior. Not just daily events but entire vacations etc. I wrote several months ago regarding him being on porno & match sites. That has greatly impacted my feelings in this marriage. I'm holding on by a thread always hoping things will get better. You know, feel true happiness and trust. We live in a resort community with several roadside beaches. My husband takes these routes to his job sites (he's self-employed)even though it is constant stop and go traffic and takes a fair amount of time to get from point A to point B. There is another route he could take that is much faster and more direct. I haven't made an issue out of this but I feel he's just going the beach route to again, gawk at the young women along the way. It just makes me feel like a big zero. I don't want to be made a fool of. I feel that he gets horny and then I have to fulfill his sexual desires after gawking at all of the women. I am having a very difficult time just getting thru each day and this stuff has been going on for a long time. I just want peace and happiness. What do you see and what do you suggest for me. Pls. help me sort this out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jani70
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 6:19pm
jani70...

This sure sounds like "male mid-life crisis"...at least to Pianoguy!

One of the lousiest things of being a man is reaching 40 or older and realizing that many dreams and aspirations will go unfulfilled. So naturally...we take out our frustrations on the people who love us.

Granted...this is not fair...to YOU or the people your husband associates with.

Why not ask him if he's gonna be unhappy for the rest of his life? And what (if anything) you can do?

Not to alarm you...but ALL OF US look at a pretty woman every now and then. It doesn't mean it'll develop into anything more. We just like the idea there's somebody around to snigger too!

Pianoguy