in laws problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
in laws problems
3
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 3:56pm
My daughter is 2 years old. I am an only child while my husband has 6 sisters and 2 brothers and a very imposing mother. Since I gave birth my sister-in-law, who has no children, has been volunteering and imposing herself to babysit my daughter at all times. She actually works in my daughter's daycare and my daughter got very close to her. She wants to pick her up from daycare everyday, which my husband doesn't mind because like this he can stay later at work. My sister in-law's behavior bothers me because she doesn't take into consideration my feelings. Although I have told her how I feel on many occasions she doesn't do anything to fix the problems. She thinks she is helping me out. I am a working mother and every minute that I have that I can spend with my daughter is precious for me and I don't want someone else benefitting of my time. My husband thinks I have a psychological problem. Do I? Is my behavior abnormal? What can I do to make my husband and in-laws understand?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 4:11pm
No you aren't wrong, you don't have a problem and you are not psycho. She's imposed herself, has a close bond with her niece, that's great, but you want quaility time with your own child.... your daughter may enjoy her aunt, but she doesn't need two mother's just you.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:25pm
I agree - you're not nuts, you're just a mother with little precious time to spend with your daughter. So just tell your SIL that. Tell her that although you appreciate and thank her for the offer, you prefer to spend as much time as possible with your daughter. One thing about in laws I've learned from mine, if you don't let something become a big deal, it doesn't have to be one. Live your life with your husband and daughter at the top of the list and everyone else comes way after. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:10am
Thanks for your understanding. I wish my husband would agree with me. For him, his family always comes first. He's actually the one that wants her to pick my daughter up every day. He finishes work at 6PM, while I can manage to finish work at 5PM, but he does not want to leave work before. We have only one car and even if I want to take the metro, I'll be late. Ideally I would take the car and go pick my daughter up and spend my quality time with her. He doesn't want that. He wants me to understand that his sister is making him a favor and I should understand and relieve him of that stress. So basically, he thinks I'm nuts and making mountains out of mowhills.