In-Laws! Why?
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In-Laws! Why?
| Wed, 03-31-2004 - 7:47pm |
Hello, I've been married to my husband for 6 months and been living with his sixty some odd mother, his 42 year overly dependent but not disabled sister, and his 20 year old son coming up on two years now. I also have a 7 years old daughter. We live in a 3 bedroom made 4 bedroom townhome. I feel like I'm going crazy in this house. I feel like I stand alone with my daughter. My husband will side with his family before finding out what I say is true or not. He will tell his mother where he's going and leave my to wonder. I'm ready for a divorce. The only time I get half genuine affection is when he wants to have sex. We fight all the time. From sun up to sun down. I don't want to divorce my husband but it seems like the only logical answer. All I want is to have my own home,space from his family other than my room, and my husband. I don't come out of my room because I am tired of seeing is family everyday. We are suppose to move in June but my gut is telling me the "everybody" is moving in June. His sister was told she had to straighten out of financial affairs long before I came along to take on the payments of the property and care for their mother. But that hasn't happened. I gathered that much when I would have general conversation with her about finance to see where she stood. My husband originally was going to relocate to New York before he met me and extended her deadline until our wedding date. My husband told me I don't make him feel like he should give me a home for us. What does that sound like to you? He told me I don't make him feel like doing anything for me. You can could imagine some of things that are not happening to make me happy in order to make him happy. I told him (and he understands because he tells me all the time) that this a give and take relationship. He told me I'm not supportive, when I can't be looking at someone back. And he's not giving me the opportunity to be supportive or anything else. He told me he was only going to focus on the development of his son future so he can take over his company. So I'm under the impression that I'm left to be married to myself. And to top things off, there's a possibility that I'm pregnant and I have not desire to want to be. I am seeking professional help now and have decided to see what happens in June. And if what I thought happens then I'm leaving him. Do you think I'm wrong for this, out of my mind, or putting to much pressure on my husband?

I suggest if you don't want a divorce, take him to counseling - let the counselor tell him he needs to set boundaries with is family and be supportive of his wife and put his focus on making a home/life with you, not them.
Also, try posting on the In-Law support board here at ivillage.
Edited 4/1/2004 3:35 pm ET ET by itwinflame
Carrie
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie