Lazy stay at home husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
Lazy stay at home husband
6
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 10:30am
My husband is a stay at home dad. I am very upset at the fact that he lays on the couch the majority of the day. Just before i get home from work he throws the dishes in the dishwasher and picks up the lvg room. The house is dirty and clothes have piled up as well as the majority of all else. We have a 10 month old and a four year old, which is in school half days. He thinks he shouldnt have to keep the house up. He agreed to staty home and tend to the house and i would go to work, now he treats this like it is an extended vacation. How do i get him to get off his lazy butt and get to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 10:41am

Welcome to the board mom_stacyc,


Does your husband say why he thinks he shouldn't have to clean the house? Especially since he agreed to that when it was decided that you should go back to work. I guess you could try not cleaning and just let it get really bad until he decides to clean, but that might not work very well.


You could tell him that if he isn't going to clean the house that you will stay at home and do it and he can get a job.

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 11:06am
Thank you so much for replying. He doesnt give a good reason why, other than he was just busy, but when i ask him what went on, he always ends up telling on himslef and saying he slept, and watched this and that movie. I have nagged, which i hate to do, i have threatened, i have told him to please treat this like a job and do it! i have told him to just go back to work full time and forget staying at home. non of these have worked and he refuses to look for a job. He will begin to go back to college in August, part time but that is a long time away. I am at a loss. This has cause major issues, i do not want my kids to suffer for his laziness. The baby is rolling and trying to crawl and i dont want her picking up junk off of the floor, My son never has any clean clothes. I am so tired of this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 11:24am
Would he be willing to share the chores with you? Like he does the dishes, laundry, and the trash and you vaccuum and do the bathroom or something like that.

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 11:52am
More than likely, he would agree then not do a thing. I work overtime on the weekends to get caught up, then it goes to pot during the week. I work full time, very hard, i am tired when i get home and am really bitter at the fact that i work full time and he does barely anything. The bitterness is growing. He does cook dinner at night, he started after he found out that he would get a big ol' sandwich each night if i had to do dinner after work, but why is the house work such an issue??? i do not feel as if it is asking too much. That is his job and i have mine..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 12:17pm
I don't know. I know a lot of women have problems getting their husbands to help out around the house. I, myself, will admit that I do most of the housework, however, my fiance does work at least 50 hrs a week if not more and then when he isn't at work he is working on one of our rental houses.

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 1:25pm
See thast good, if my husband worked alot i wouldnt mind a bit doing the majority, if not all, because i used to. But when they are at home.. that is there job, so do it right, or dont stay at home. I told him yesterday, if he treated this as a job and actually took responsibility, things would be better for all of us, but in that regard,he not doing anything would cause him to be fired. If i had my say, he would be fired.
I dont know, i am at a loss and so unhappy with this.
thanks for the advice