Left in colorado!

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Registered: 04-12-2014
Left in colorado!
8
Sat, 04-12-2014 - 1:04pm

He moved back to calif with 2 day notice to me, quit his job and just left. He says it's what he had to do to get sober and reconnect with 12 yr old son, devasted me. But I now realize if that's the only way he can get sober then I have to be ok with that, they have aa meetings everywhere out there and none here. It's just the way he did it, he was drinking at the time. Im moving back also there is nothing here for me it's a small town,And I accomplished what I moved out here for which was to get my life back in order hadn't worked in 5 yrs that's what I did when I got here and have worked the whole time out here. And don't really know many people except whom I work with after being out here for almost 2 yrs I miss my kids and grand babies that are in cali. But I'm so confused don't know if we should try and make it work, I love him when he is sober, he says he loves me, he is going to meetings in calif already which is great, but i'm scared moving back I will have to start all over again. I want to be with him, but there was so much fighting when he was drinking I don't know if or relationship is repairable.

CryLeft in CO. by fiance!

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Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 04-12-2014 - 11:33pm

You should concentrate on your own life.  You're not responsible for him, or his sobriety.  You have a family, you miss them, and they probably miss you too.  You can work in CA just as well as you can work in CO......whatever your problem was there, it seems your life got on track in CO........so go back, be with your family, and stay away from him until he's proven that he can get sober and stay sober.  I was married to an alcoholic, and it's NOT fun.  It doesn't get better, it only gets worse.  If an alcoholic REALLY wants to quit, they can do it California, Colorado or Timbuktoo......Location shouldn't matter....he left you with 2 days notice.......that shows he has no consideration for you.......so get back to your family, and to yourself.....the MOST important person in your life.

Avatar for Leftincolorado
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2014
Sun, 04-13-2014 - 12:01am

You are right, he called me today and sounded like he was drinking again! I asked him if he has been going to meetings and he said he's going to one on monday because it's with-in walking distance. And he's supposed to see his son on sunday, so I can't waste anymore time crying over him he dosen't seem to care and only calls me when he feels upset or mad. I do need to consentrate on myself and my family, no matter how much it hurts. Thank you!

CryLeft in CO. by fiance!

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 04-13-2014 - 10:14pm

 Yours is a typical Colorado story.  The story is quite common.    Couples come to Colorado and break up.  Not everyone but enough to understand if there is something not right Colorado will make it right one way or the other.

dragowoman

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2014
Mon, 04-14-2014 - 10:36pm

I accomplished what I came out here for, to get back into the workforse. He followed me and we got a place together. I didn't plan on staying for good until he came and things seemed to workout. He just needs to get his life together and want to stop drinking which I don't think he does. Either way I can't let him hurt me again, I do love him. We met 23yrs ago, didn't see each other again until 3 yrs ag

CryLeft in CO. by fiance!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2014
Mon, 04-14-2014 - 10:36pm

I accomplished what I came out here for, to get back into the workforse. He followed me and we got a place together. I didn't plan on staying for good until he came and things seemed to workout. He just needs to get his life together and want to stop drinking which I don't think he does. Either way I can't let him hurt me again, I do love him. We met 23yrs ago, didn't see each other again until 3 yrs ag

CryLeft in CO. by fiance!

Avatar for Leftincolorado
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2014
Mon, 04-14-2014 - 10:36pm

I accomplished what I came out here for, to get back into the workforse. He followed me and we got a place together. I didn't plan on staying for good until he came and things seemed to workout. He just needs to get his life together and want to stop drinking which I don't think he does. Either way I can't let him hurt me again, I do love him. We met 23yrs ago, didn't see each other again until 3 yrs ag

CryLeft in CO. by fiance!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Thu, 04-17-2014 - 1:26am
The drinking and the leaving with two days notice is too crazy for me. It sounds like you are doing well in CO, aside from the huge issue of being hooked up with this hot mess. Now he's gone, so there's a nice clean break and chance to get that part of your life together too. I wouldn't drop everything and follow the lead of his erratic behavior. CA will still be there in six months when you're over him, yes? Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Thu, 04-17-2014 - 1:30am

Also, I'd change your phone number and just quit all contact with him too. Good luck.