LEFT YESTERDAY

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
LEFT YESTERDAY
3
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 11:10am
I went back to my mom's house yesterday and I will be buying my ticket today to leave in two weeks back to my country.

Saddly, I could not stop myself and I looked in his phone bill today. I saw that she called him and they talked for 18 minutes, but you know what? I am trying as hard as I can for it not to effect me the way it has been, instead it just pushes me to hurry up..and get out!!! He is a liar and he will keep hurting me if I don't. Guess what????????

I actually did something else yesterday that I have been wanting to do for a very long time and he always talked me out of....I got a tatoo, I am so happy I did, It is very beautiful, I helped design it..I wanted to express freedom and so I have two wings with a heart in the middle, I got it on my lower back..Would you believe that it did not even hurt that bad, what I kept thinking is that kind of pain will go away after a while, but the kind of pain my husband has caused is what stays in me all the time..you could even say that I was sick of feeling that awful pain all the time and wanted to feel free...if I can take two hours of needles being poked in me, well you know what? I will be ok...

Thanks for the support always!!!!

Tearyangel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 11:42am
Its good that you left him, but you should never make a "permanent" decision under stress. You should have waited about a year before deciding on a tatoo, until the initial wave of emotions had subsided.

Now, unfortunately, you have a permanent reminder of an ugly, dark period in your life.
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 6:55pm
My sister got a tattoo when she was in the process of leaving her husband. Now, 6 years later, she still loves her tattoo and what it represents. She got a "freedom bird" on her shoulder and she feels that it represents her first taste of freedom from the pain she was experiencing in the marriage.

I hope your tattoo becomes a reminder of your freedom and independence for years to come.

Good for you!

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 8:43pm

You are courageous and you will be fine. You are fine right now. It is difficult to leave a painful situation, but after we take the first steps, our strength and happiness, and most important of all, our respect for ourself grows and grows.


Enjoy the new chapter of your life that is coming. Don't dwell upon the negativity with your husband. Focus on the future and all the good things you can have now.


Best wishes.