a letter to my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
a letter to my husband
2
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 10:10pm
This letter is written to my husband. I'm going out of town for a couple of days, I'm leaving this on his night stand. Am I wrong to do this? What else should I have done? I'm at a loss? This is the best I could do.

For years, I have told you that you need to really step back and look at your own selfishness. You do things, and never give a thought of me. Maybe you think of me but could care less. If it’s the (care less) we need to really make plans about our marriage and were it is going. I can not go on like this. It is mostly small things I know, but the lack of thought, is what hurts. It is big things also; like when I tell you I have not had an orgasm when you have and you say, for the need of sleep you don’t have time! It’s the fact that I almost have to beg for sex, and when I get it, the pleasure is mostly for you. I have asked you to see a doctor, I have bought things to help me, which you can’t see or even think about or it is over before it starts. What do you want from me? My guess is what you have been getting all these years, what is best for you. Well I haven’t got much of that left in me. I’ve told you that before, but I really am at the end of giving in to you. The fact that I have, had to say I was sorry for wanting you more, just to have you again, is just not right. We started as friends, best friends, I have said before you need to drop the friend thing and start treating me like a wife. I have other friends, I need a husband.I need to be f*****, I need to be able to f*** you, without you acting like I am doing something you do not approve of. I also still need you to make love to me, but without me having to leave you a note to let you know it is time. I have stressed to you that I can not function on twice a month sex. I can not live with the fact that you don’t want or need me. You always say it’s not me, but I’ve never seen you talk to a doctor. If I don’t mean enough to you, for you to at least see someone, why are we still together? Maybe it is because you are happy with our sex and how things are, if that is the case. The fact that you know how I feel, and things have not changed, is also a problem that I can not live with any longer. I know we need to talk some more, but you always say you need time to think about things so you can answer, well you have 2 days. Think away

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 4:23am
I am not a place where I can give you any advice...but just to say"hang in there". I think your letter was to the point and maybe it is what he needs to wake up. Have you seen a marriage counslor yet? He does sound pretty selfish to me. Hope it all works out!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 12:27pm
We haven't seen or talked to anyone yet. I just got back from my trip yesterday. he hasn't talked about any of it yet, I am expecting him to mention something tonight. So far he is acting like nothing has been said. If he tries to pretend like nothing is wrong, I will bring it up tonight after the kids are sleeping