Letting go of old drama???
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| Thu, 08-19-2004 - 3:22am |
Problem: he cheated on me with her. We were dating. They were living together (as roommates). He was honest with me about it and extremely apologetic and remorsful. Upon my request he left the house he owned to sleep on his friend's couch until further notice. He followed my every request seeking my forgiveness and sold their house, severed all ties to her, started dating me again, moved in and the rest is history.
Or is it? Next problem: they work together but it's a large company and rarley see each other. Until she calls for no reason, or drops off his stuff that got mixed into her stuff, or leaves old photos in his work locker. Or I bring up how much he hurt me, how betrayed I feel, how he could have come to me that night but he chose her... There are a lot of unanswered questions (not about the details) but regarding my pain. We have talked and talked, thought about therapy... I just cant seem to get over the hurt, anger, resentment... Before this I was a confident, self assured, independent woman. Now I have much lower self confidence, lower sexual confidence, need constant attention and reassurance. I hate the person I am now and I want to forgive him and have tried to but it just comes up again later on. It only happened the one time and our "title" was shakey but that all feels like and excuse to say it's ok what he did. I feel like if I forgive him then I am saying "it's ok- go screw her again! I let you get away with it and I'll stay with you and get cheated on again." HELP! Any advice would be great. We are so in love and this is something I know I can get through. He is so supportive and will do anything I ask of him to do to help me thorugh this pain.

Time to do therapy.
Carrie
If he has not told you the whole truth about how he was having sex with two women, living with one (I do not believe it was totally platonic) and having sex with you, then how can you ever trust him again?