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| Tue, 05-08-2007 - 11:41am |
I have been officially dating my boyfriend for a little over 5 months and we live together. We have been friends for about 2 years. The 1st month of our sex life was wonderful...considering I have a 3 year old at home. After the 1st month it has dwindled to barely twice a month, and it is when he wants it. Being in our early 30's, I want it ALL the time. It was a real problem for me because this is the time of a relationship that we are supposed to be like rabbits...right? It would bring me to tears because I had no idea what was going on. First he said he didn't know what was wrong. He had some court issues, he said it was possibly that, then it was possibly because he was tired cuz he was working so much. Then about 2 months ago he said he thinks it is because the things I do and the way I look reminds him of his mom and it creeps him out. He had told me I resembeled his mother before we officially started dating but I thought that had subsided since we started dating. He says if I change my hair that might help, but I think if the problem is I look like his mom, then with different hair, I will still look like his mom...only with different hair. I don't know what to do. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, and I believe him, he is an awesome boyfriend...except the lack of sex. He is a very sexually experienced person so I know it's not like he feels bad for not saving himself or anything. I don't know if it could be a hormone imbalance or just not that into the relationship like he says he is or what?????? Has anyone gone through this, any advise? I'm really confused...it sucks sexually and mentally :(

Welcome to the board shawnamomma,
It would be a good idea to have it get checked out by his doctor to rule out anything medical. It is truly is because you remind him of his mom, I don't know if that can be changed. But that seems
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This is not a hormone problem, it's a psychological one. And he's told you, point blank, what it is. If you remind him of his mother, forget it. There's no way he can feel sexual with you. It would feel like he's with his mom. This is not your fault. It says nothing about you, and as I see it, there's really nothing you can do about it. Unless he went to therapy and worked out his feelings, the sex life could not grow and be fulfilling.
Even though he's a great boy friend, he's basically only a friend. Talk this over with him. Let him know you want to be with someone who loves and wants you and sees you as a sexy woman, not his mother.
If I were you I'd move on.
Best wishes,
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