Liking everything Japanese? Right or wrong?
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|Mon, 06-30-2014 - 11:53am|
Hi all, I've been wandering about on this site for years but I have a slight problem that I want to share with you guys. This is my first post too so I'm sorry to be negative! I hope you can give an insight to a problem of mine.
My boyfriend (Caucasian) and I (Chinese), having been going out for a fairly good amount of time now and we're both in our early twenties.
But there's always this little thing that just digs into my mind which as the title says, is him liking everything that is Japanese. I don't mind if someone likes a particular culture but obsession can go a bit too far. My boyfriend may as you call it be classed as a 'Japanophile' and loves every aspect of Japan. He raves anything that is related to it, but this actually makes me a little upset. Times when I jokingly ask 'What team would win? Japan or China?' He would blatantly say Japan and add words such as 'They are better than Chinese'...really offends me. Things in which he says that belittles my culture or disregard about my culture makes me think that I'm not the right person to be with him since he thinks Japan is superior to all other countries. He does not say these things all the time and was probably saying it half-heartedly but it I still can't forget it.
Him who had already visited Japan now wants to go every year. I am a little jealous that he isn't into my culture and when I asked if he would like to come visit HK or China with me someday he didn't really react much to it. What's really worse is that I'm beginning to think that I'm not the girl he wants to be with because I'm Chinese and not Japanese. Out of spite i told him to to marry a Japanese woman and live in Japan if you love it it there so much...his face reacted in a way I can obviously tell he was shocked but also probably the truth buried deep within his heart. He did reject the idea and said he loved me.
On a side note: He does want to work and live there and says that it is his dream. My dream is different to his, I was born in the UK and would like to stay and work here because I feel comfortable here. Moving to a different country is a massive decision that I don't take lightly. I would never stop anyone from pursuing their own dreams but since I am prepared to let go in the future does it have any meaning to hold on to this relationship anymore? Should I even be upset about this or am I sensitive?
When I first met him I did not know he was into the Japanese scene until entering his room, AND when I did, I accepted it. But in the long run I guess I am overwhelmed by the behaviour and actions he had done that made me feel inferior.
Your suggestions and opinions are welcomed! I would really like to know what you think about this. Is there anyone with similar experiences?
I know he has the right to do or like anything he wants to but when is it too far? Would you be offended if you was me?