A little help please
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| Mon, 03-01-2004 - 4:57pm |
My boyfriend recently broke up with me. He is depressed and really needs help. Sometimes he says he'll talk to a doctor and sometimes he says he's fine. Either way, he says he needs to be alone now and learn to love himself before he can truly love me. I know that sounds good, but it really hurts for me now. I don't know if I should give up on us and move on, or if I should see if he comes back to me. I truly love him, and we both know we are compatible. But, his head is just messed up right now. If he doesn't talk to a doctor, I know I cannot be with him. It's just too challenging. I've asked him to call someone, for him, for me, for us but nothing has worked yet. Anyone have any other ideas? Should I just move on? We still talk. We're best friends. He seems to be happy just having me in his life, but I want more, which makes it all the harder.

Reading material:
When Someone You Love Is Depressed: How to Help Your Loved One Without Losing Yourself, Laura Epstein Rosen
The Pain Behind the Mask: Overcoming Masculine Depression, John Lynch
Carrie
No one can help your exbf but himself. He needs to do this on his own- otherwise, you will spend your life trying to help him, and lose your own happiness in the process. This doesn't mean you can't still be involved in his life, but if it is causing you too much pain, take the time for yourself to step back, gain some perspective.