Little white lies

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
Little white lies
2
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 9:28am

This is surely not my first time on this board, unfortunately.

If you've read my past posts you'll know the whole back story to my relationship.....

Since my last posting, things have gotten better, as one member pointed out "the honeymoon phase" he's very sorry for what he did so he's going to make it seem like everything is fine.. Well things HAVE been great! He's been way more attentive, caring, and affectionate. Actually seems like when he comes home now he's coming home to see me! Like he misses me, it's definitely a nice change!

Well I fear that he may be going back to his old ways.. meaning, causing a fight over nothing, and being insanely jealous and doubting me. Last night I called him to see if he would be willing to go shopping with me, last weekend was my b-day and my parents gave me $100 to spend. He got instantly upset, asking me what I could possibly NEED, and why I want to go shopping.. Conversation ended with him telling me that he would just talk to me when he got home.. He got home and nothing was mentioned.. Until he brought up the shopping, and i said that it didn't matter what I may possibly NEED, it was that I wanted to do something nice for myself since I really didn't get anything for my birthday.. Selfish, a little.. But he reminded me that I have bills that could be paid with that money, and that he didn't think that I was being wise with wanting to spend it on shopping.. "More things I don't need." He stormed off, going to his fathers', and I stayed home I didn't want to go because things needed to be done around the house.. I called and asked why he stormed off, and the same things reiterated in the previous conversation. telling me that I should spend my money on bills, not more clothes, etc.

when he got home he seemed fine, I tried to make conversation, asked how his search for campers went, etc. then he asked me about comments that I had left on a few friends' myspace pages back in January and April. I have No clue. I honestly couldn't remember, but I assured him that all of the guys' that I have as my friends I have known for quiet sometime, through school or whatever. This turned into a huge fight.. he doesn't trust anything that I say to him, he's always doubting me.

Then this morning he called me at work, I didn't wave to him when I passed by his work truck, but this wasn't a big deal. I told him that I deposited the check that my parents' gave me and took out $20, when I really cashed it and pocketed it. Every week I deposit my paycheck into our JOINT checking account without any spending cash. I write checks here and there for misc. things, but never have cash on hand. He on the other hand will go to the bank once or twice a week and take out $20 so he can have cash on him. I don't see the difference.

Right after I got off the phone with him I got instantly nervous, called our bank and said that I would be right down to make a deposit. So I deposited my check and paid another bill.

Why am I like this? and why do I lie???? Not sure if anyone can answer that.. But why can't I just be honest? I'm so afraid of the out come that I don't want to tell the truth for fear that he could kick me out of the house,and I would be nowhere. I really do love this man, and I want to stay with him, but I just think that he's got double standards, and it's hard for him to see what he's doing is the same thing.. Someone please offer me some advice, and hopefully it won't be the "LEAVE HIM" kind. I want to make this work. He really is a good man, deep down, and lately he's been showing me more and more of that person. I just want it to stay that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 12:01pm

The way I see it, is that you aren't honest, because you are afraid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 2:38pm

You're being passive-aggressive.