I am a professional woman with a good job.
Yes, I agree.
If you're living in fear, then you can't exercise your rights.
I consider the lack of motivation and plain laziness more of an issue than the lower (or no) income.
You two def need some serious conversation because for him to get offended because you brought it up is a sign for worry. There are plenty of jobs he can do while looking for something more permanent.. My husband works construction because that is all he can do now and he wakes up every morning at 6am and comes home at 7pm. He works in the rain and snow, ne never complains. I think people get all fussy about what kind of job they want. Well guess wha,t the world and economy are all messed up and you just have to do what you have to do in order to survive. Besides I might be little bit traditional that way for him to expect his gfriend to support him, just shows you what kind of man he is.
Thanks for the tough love...it's why I wrote.
And trust me I know how you feel, in my previous relationship I was in a similar situation and after 6 years I finally had the strength to break it off. He was always just making minimum or unemployed and because I thought it was just a phase, I ended up in debt because I was paying for everything. Just be very careful that way and you need to protect yourself. He had more than enough time to find something but the only way to deal with this is to talk to him. Yes he might get offended again (the same way my ex did) because thats what they do, they turn it around on us so it comes off as if we are the ones doing something wrong.
IMO much of the problem is gender roles.
I see your point about gender roles...I have thought of that.
Your thought makes sense but at the same time, two people have to have some kind of agreement in terms of what role they play in this relationship. It also isn't fair for one person to assume all of the responsibility. Typically in the past, men would contribute to the household with money and women would contribute to the household with time. It was a de facto agreement that did not need to be signed for by both parties. If the OP's significant other is too embarrassed to assume a responsibility toward the household in terms of time (cleaning, repairs, bills, other maintenance) then that's a problem. It is unfair to expect your partner to shoulder a burden like this. The conscience of a person who cares would not allow this amount of inequity.
Clinical Research Associate