live in bf long term unemployed

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
live in bf long term unemployed
35
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 1:55pm

I am a professional woman with a good job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2011
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 12:54pm

I am a 65 year old cancer patient stage 4 and I could of given up myself. I feel that when a man isn't contributing to the house hold financially then he needs a boost with a good attitude check. I am working and drawing disability and I feel that if I was to not work then I have given up as a man. You can give an ultimatim but then would most likely cauase problems. Even McDonalds has work and at least a paycheck is coming in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Sat, 12-17-2011 - 12:46pm

I know you love him dearly but you must move on without him.I had been unemployed for 2yrs.. during that time I was looking for work and I went to school.I am finally getting back on my feet...I started a fulltime job BUT I also have some other nest eggs because I never want to be like where I was for 2 yrs ever again! See he doesn't think like that so he will eventually weigh you down where you will grow to resent him.I was in a relationship with my ex/bf/exhusband a long time ago.He would make excuses about finding work while I was the one working my butt off and I would give him money for his stupid cigarretes!!! I dont smoke by the way..You have to end the relationship NOW. It's one thing being supportive of someone you love whom you see is busting their butt to find work and be productive versus being with someone who is letting you support them and not care about what you are going through.Talk to him about how you're feeling and IF he doesn't do anything about the situation...let him GO!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 8:54am

So...I know how I feel and what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 10:44am

In the old days most women didn't work after they got married (first there weren't a lot of job opportunities) but a lot of that time they were raising the kids as well as taking care of all household duties--having a home cooked dinner every night, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 12:44pm

Your description of your BF is illuminating: believes in the beneficence of the universe, peaceful, meditative, loves life as it is, no ambition, eats and lives free, demeanor is usually calm and happy. This is a great description of my cat.

I think this relationship can work if you keep reminding yourself that this man is your pet, and it's unrealistic to expect him to contribute anything except charm and good vibes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 5:52pm

I was a SAHM for 11 years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Wed, 12-21-2011 - 11:25am
You did the RIGHT thing.Please DON'T look back!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Wed, 12-21-2011 - 11:34am
That was so funny!! :)
He does sound like a lazy cat!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 6:15am
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 6:20am

My advice to you would be to stop trying to make your bf into