I am a professional woman with a good job.
I am a 65 year old cancer patient stage 4 and I could of given up myself. I feel that when a man isn't contributing to the house hold financially then he needs a boost with a good attitude check. I am working and drawing disability and I feel that if I was to not work then I have given up as a man. You can give an ultimatim but then would most likely cauase problems. Even McDonalds has work and at least a paycheck is coming in.
I know you love him dearly but you must move on without him.I had been unemployed for 2yrs.. during that time I was looking for work and I went to school.I am finally getting back on my feet...I started a fulltime job BUT I also have some other nest eggs because I never want to be like where I was for 2 yrs ever again! See he doesn't think like that so he will eventually weigh you down where you will grow to resent him.I was in a relationship with my ex/bf/exhusband a long time ago.He would make excuses about finding work while I was the one working my butt off and I would give him money for his stupid cigarretes!!! I dont smoke by the way..You have to end the relationship NOW. It's one thing being supportive of someone you love whom you see is busting their butt to find work and be productive versus being with someone who is letting you support them and not care about what you are going through.Talk to him about how you're feeling and IF he doesn't do anything about the situation...let him GO!
So...I know how I feel and what to do.
In the old days most women didn't work after they got married (first there weren't a lot of job opportunities) but a lot of that time they were raising the kids as well as taking care of all household duties--having a home cooked dinner every night, etc.
Your description of your BF is illuminating: believes in the beneficence of the universe, peaceful, meditative, loves life as it is, no ambition, eats and lives free, demeanor is usually calm and happy. This is a great description of my cat.I think this relationship can work if you keep reminding yourself that this man is your pet, and it's unrealistic to expect him to contribute anything except charm and good vibes.
I was a SAHM for 11 years.
My advice to you would be to stop trying to make your bf into