Living Together But Unsure..
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| Thu, 09-13-2007 - 5:22pm |
Hello to all!! I really don't know where to start! I live with my BF (not sure of all the abbreviations) this is Boyfriend but I suppose could be SO. We are not children. I am 42 he is 51.
We have lived together about 3 months now but the major concern started before I moved in. It's his daughter! She is in her 20's and she is daddy's little girl..ugh! Welll...daddy acts all wiggy when we are around her. No affection and sometimes no acknowledgement directed towards me. I deal by getting drunk. I know..great move!! She has her own family (child and hubby) but she just acts like my man is god! She doesn't speak directly to me, only over at me. I have truly decided I want nothing else to do with her. I have told my man that that is his family and please spend time with them. But now I need to add that I will NOT be coming to any function including holidays with him in regards to her. I in all honesty see NO reason to have to deal with her. I cannot stand how he "becomes" around her and I am obviously NOT one of her favorite people. I am sure I would get upset or something during an extended visit at her home and wind up ruining things for everyone. So I am opting out but do not know how to tell him without BAD vibes going on.
She was his daughter long before I arrived on the scene and I would never insist on him ignoring her or any of that. I am truly trying to protect my sanity!! It hurts having the love of your life all lovey-dovey then kiddo show up and you are NOTHING for the length of time you are around said kiddo. I am not sure he knows he does it and I refuse to beg for his attention.
Any suggestions or feedback?
Thanks!!

Welcome to the board,
First, if you haven't talked to him about the way he changes when she is around than you need to. He may not even realize that he behavior changes. Second, it is normal to for parents not to be all over each other when their children are around. As long as he doesn't just flat out ignore you.
glitter-graphics.com
gettingbtr41, I do sympathise with your predicament.
Just had another idea...
I bet the two of you are feeding off each other's actions and obvious dislike.
That sucks. I hate "daddy's girls" as much as I hate "momma's boys". I wish there were more people who could have a HEALTHY relationship with their parents...
Anyway, can you tell us what you've done to try to establish a relationship with his daughter? Sometimes you really kind of have to force yourself to include yourself in her life and be interested in her. If you genuinely make an effort to like her and involve her in your relationship then it will be a lot harder for her to exclude you.