Lonely, Confused, SAD I messed up:(
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Lonely, Confused, SAD I messed up:(
| Mon, 03-08-2004 - 6:09pm |
OK, I soo wish I would not be in this predicament right now. Well im 19yrs, Im
Catholic and moved away from home in order to attend college (sounds familiar).
Well for the past few months I have been dating this guy who I got back with. We
broke up in the past because he was cheating on me. It hurted so much that I wanted vengance. We started talking again and became friends. We got back together 3 months ago. He has been the only guy who I have ever done anything sexual with, and to who
I recently gave my virginity to. Well there is no doubt that I love this guy. The problem is that for some reason I keep messing up. I kissed one of my closest guy friends once at a party. I told him and he let it go, but told me not to do it again.
Then this huge incident started arriving, where one of my best friends here at college started telling me that she is inlove with me (which I found extremely crippy). I was scared, not at the fact that she was inlove with me, but at the things she said (ex: while drunk she would say that life was nothing to her without me...that she doesnt want to live, etc.). She even harrased me a bit (or so did I felt). The only thing I could have told her was to please permit me to be there for her. Well she didnt want to talk to me inorder for me to make it easier for her. A week later she told him, that she is not a lesbian or bisexual and that the guy I was dating was the one to bring these ideas to her head.
It was hard for me to believe her, because of the ways she acts everytime she got drunk (wanting to be next to girls and at one point even trying to kiss a girl friend of ours----that was actually 5 months ago.
Well she kept blaming eveything on the guy im dating and I confronted him, but he denied it. Well two weeks ago, we got were drinking here at the dorms and when everyone was sleeping. We were up talking and she kissed me. I didnt stop her ( I guess I was curious...dont know what was going on through my head). Nothing more happened, even though she was aiming for it. I stopped and told her to forget that that ever happened. She doesnt even wants to talk to me (because she gets desires). I told the guy Im talking to and he is thinking things through. Even accused me of not being settled in the head.
I know i messed up in every sense of the word, but what do i do know. My friend doesnt talk to me, because she wants to forget about me. And the guy im talking to wants to think things through. :(.....I would have never imagine this would happen to me.
Where do I go from here...Please Help, I dont know who else to go to. Feel too embarrass:(
I hate my Life
Catholic and moved away from home in order to attend college (sounds familiar).
Well for the past few months I have been dating this guy who I got back with. We
broke up in the past because he was cheating on me. It hurted so much that I wanted vengance. We started talking again and became friends. We got back together 3 months ago. He has been the only guy who I have ever done anything sexual with, and to who
I recently gave my virginity to. Well there is no doubt that I love this guy. The problem is that for some reason I keep messing up. I kissed one of my closest guy friends once at a party. I told him and he let it go, but told me not to do it again.
Then this huge incident started arriving, where one of my best friends here at college started telling me that she is inlove with me (which I found extremely crippy). I was scared, not at the fact that she was inlove with me, but at the things she said (ex: while drunk she would say that life was nothing to her without me...that she doesnt want to live, etc.). She even harrased me a bit (or so did I felt). The only thing I could have told her was to please permit me to be there for her. Well she didnt want to talk to me inorder for me to make it easier for her. A week later she told him, that she is not a lesbian or bisexual and that the guy I was dating was the one to bring these ideas to her head.
It was hard for me to believe her, because of the ways she acts everytime she got drunk (wanting to be next to girls and at one point even trying to kiss a girl friend of ours----that was actually 5 months ago.
Well she kept blaming eveything on the guy im dating and I confronted him, but he denied it. Well two weeks ago, we got were drinking here at the dorms and when everyone was sleeping. We were up talking and she kissed me. I didnt stop her ( I guess I was curious...dont know what was going on through my head). Nothing more happened, even though she was aiming for it. I stopped and told her to forget that that ever happened. She doesnt even wants to talk to me (because she gets desires). I told the guy Im talking to and he is thinking things through. Even accused me of not being settled in the head.
I know i messed up in every sense of the word, but what do i do know. My friend doesnt talk to me, because she wants to forget about me. And the guy im talking to wants to think things through. :(.....I would have never imagine this would happen to me.
Where do I go from here...Please Help, I dont know who else to go to. Feel too embarrass:(
I hate my Life

If you want to get this "all out there' - realize that a) you're not sure about your sexual preference or b) you're totally insecure about life and how to live it on its terms, by your values and priorities and boudnaries to make a great life for yourself.
Your boyfriend, he's "considering' letting this go....mmmm, sounds strange to me. Sounds like he's just storing up ammunition to justify him doing whatever he wants at some point - that's just one possibility.
But, if you'd invite him and the girl into bed at the same time - I guarantee he'd "forget" all about her just kissing you because he'd have the time of his life, and maybe you could figure out which one you like - and if it's both....well, they might just be willing for you 3 to be a happy 3-some on a regular basis.
But someone wanting you sexually is not "I love, admire, respect, accept, understand, appreciate, and affirm you as a person" - it's just "you're a source of instant gratification by my way of defining it if you're willing to participate".
Erin
quickblde14@hotmail.com
On the first issue with what you did with the girl.
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
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