long distance or marriage??
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long distance or marriage??
| Thu, 06-17-2004 - 3:48am |
Hello all. I am new to this but I can really use some advice. My boyfriend & I have been dating for 11 months. We are very much in love and very happy but theres one thing. He has to move out of country for a year, maybe 2, for his job. The only way for us to be together is to get married. We've discussed this and have discussed all of our options. At first he was all for it & we were gonna get married within the month. We told all our friends & family already. But now all of a sudden he's not helping me at all with planning anything. He says its really scaring him but that he still wants to marry me but he thinks we should wait. I am a little scared of everything moving so fast but Im even more scared of losing him. Two years is a really long time to be apart, especially in another country!! Please help us make the right decision!!

I would not advise rushing into marriage because your bf is moving away. Why not try the long distance relationship first - it may work well for you both and allow you time to consider your future together. Don't know the details of locations but there is always vacation, air travel etc.
If after six months you are both miserable without each other maybe then consider that you are meant to be together and then take that next step.
Best of luck I hope it all works out for the best.
marriage is a big step! and the first year or two of marriage can be difficult under the best of circumstances. add to this the fact that you will be living in a different country (with different culture/language/climate etc), your bf will be out there working hard, and you will be doing what??
It sounds like you are getting married for all the wrong reasons. that doesn't mean it CAN'T work - but it is cause for concern. it sounds like you feel that you have no choice - but i am not sure about that. you can - break up, date other people, move on with your lives/careers, and in two years time - see what's what.
or
you can move on to a long distance relationship for a while, and see how that goes.
you don't say how old you are, or what YOU are doing with YOUR life/career?