Long distance relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
Long distance relationship
10
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 6:53pm

My fiance is working abroad for the summer (2 months) and has limited communication.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 9:41pm

You know two months really isn't that long a time if you look at it in the scheme of things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 10:56pm

Unfortunately email isn't an option..as for planning times when he calls that's almost impossible , I usuall get a window of two days and the time he calls always varies- so no predictablilty there. In a world with all this technology where you get almost instant correspondance it is very easy to get spoiled with having the technology to talk, text, videochat, email etc to get in contact with people. I guess it's just hard and very different when what i knew as standard technology is taken away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 11:52pm

Two months?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 12:15am

I dont get whats the big deal ? Its JUST 2 months. People go on deployment for years !

Again, I dont get WHY you cant email or schedule calls ?

There seems to be something that you are not revealling here otherwise,its no big deal.If not, you are very codependent and putting all importance on your relationship. It can be difficult to keep up with people if you what you say is opposite to what they see.KWIM?

Being insepearable is also not good for a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 3:51am

Hi 8lam8, I have a very different view to the other posters.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 11:01am

I guess when you go to the family functions and people start asking about your wedding plans, you just tell them that since you just got engaged before BF left, you really haven't had time to plan anything w/ him yet but you'll be sure to let them know later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 4:13pm
Well, if it was such an issue , then you should have talked about it before.If you didnt, its your fault.No use crying or being melodramatic about it . Anyway, its not end of the world ! If so, then I agree, you are codependent and probably insecure.
My exH used to work 10 mins on work and we had a 10 month old baby.He had worked on the same job for 6 years and suddenly he had to work off shore for 6 months.He moved and I stayed with my baby alone.We kept communication channels open , w/o being hyper about it.
Things happen.There are no guaranttes in life.
Some counselling might help.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 07-15-2011 - 11:20am

Re:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 10:54am

I understand you don't feel great right now, but your problems will be fixed in less than two months and I'm not sure why "just hold on a few weeks" is too difficult.

You shouldn't make major life decisions in a state like this. I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now but it won't last forever, and you could use this time to explore new things in your own life. I will say that it's a lot easier to deal with this if you learn to let go of your expectations of when he will call. He will come back, 8lam8, and if you make an effort to enjoy your life right now, you won't be focused on not hearing from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2011
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 12:04am

Aww I completely understand how hard a long distance relationship is, especially when there are limits on how often you can talk!