Hi all who may read this,
The next time you're together.....face to face......then tell her what you've told us.
thank you for your reply, all of what you said made sense to me, if im honest, a lot of it, I was already kind of thinking but its hard to know just what to do at times so its always good to get another point of view about things.
I guess im just a bit chicken about confronting the problem so directly (i would hate to sound like i was demanding answers from her), I have asked her in the past if she is happy with the relationship and if there was anything she would like to talk about, to which i get 'of course im happy and no everything is fine'. Maybe everything is fine and maybe im just reading into things far more than i should. She did wisper into my ear during the winter one night that she thought she was falling for me, which was really nice but i havent heard it since
You don't have to "demand" answers.......you can just ask her to be more communicative, and tell her why.
just a quick note.
now that iv had time to think about things and what was said, I find it a bit shallow to be judging someone on their size of the wallet. not that it isn't important, of course its important to be able to provide for a family.... and i will at some point, but i think if you like someone, you like that person not on how many toys they can bring through the door or how big and new the car is and more on who they are how well they treat you.
I want to be judged for who i am as opposed to the size of my wallet.
she might be coming up in two weeks time so hopefully we can talk about things better then but in all honesty i think the writing could be on the wall, as much as i would like it not to be.
I didn't hear your conversation, so I don't know what either of you said, but unless she was telling you that she couldn't really love you unless you gave her a diamond bracelet and a trip to Paris, I think you might be misunderstanding her financial concerns.
If she is talking about money in terms of how many toys you can buy her and how many trips, etc, then I agree that would be shallow. But if she is talking about the ability to provide for a family and a stable life then her concerns are valid. Money is one of the biggest marriage/relationship killers.