Long distance summer fling heart ache

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2008
Long distance summer fling heart ache
3
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 10:44pm

Hi


This is my first time posting here. I was hoping that someone could help me figure something out. I am 23 yrs, I have had 2 boyfriends, my longest relationship lasted for about 14 months. I had so much issues with him and kept wanting to break up with him often and this year i tried to break up with him 4 times within 4 months, but he wouldn't let me. I had

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2008
Wed, 08-27-2008 - 2:58am
Love takes time to develop, so it is probably not love you are feeling. It is probably more like infatuation. I would advise you not to get back with the guy you were seeing before since it sounds like you were unhappy in that relationship. If you truly need adventure, you are probably lacking something in your current day to day life, and you should set goals for yourself and pursue them. If you can't stop thinking about this guy, then you should definitely try to contact him, but remember this is not love yet, and the most important thing you can do for yourself is set goals for yourself that you would truly like to achieve, and do things you enjoy that don't involve men to get to know yourself better so that you will be happier within yourself and do not need to depend on a man to make you feel good. I am not saying that you do, I have no idea, but from the way it sounds if you are feeling so overwhelmed over one guy then you are probably putting too much emphasis on it and need to focus on yourself first. Give it a shot with him and contact him but remember to put yourself first so you don't get crushed if it doesn't work out. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2008
Wed, 08-27-2008 - 9:36am

Thanks Strongtiger, I have somewhat felt similar about my disposition. I have already started goals such as personal fitness etc, but I guess in a way he made me realize how much I had to grow up. I have always been following my instincts, I follow the really strong gut feeling, and haven't taken the time to isolate those into my conscious state of mind, and finally realized that I don't really know what I want. I am at a crossroads like him where I have to make major life changing decisions.


He is a Ph.D. student about to graduate and he is very busy (or apparently) with the thesis writing, when I left New York, He said he would call me soon. 2 days after that I got an email from him just asking about my trip, telling me about his roommate etc and said

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 08-27-2008 - 1:26pm

Welcome to the board ambsceit,


Most young women bond emotionally with the first guy they have sex with, but it doesn't always equate to love.